A Little Fall of Rain
by Rydain
Summary: A firebrand maturing into an astute leader and diplomat. A peacemaker bearing the pain of war to ease its toll upon others. A tale of rivals becoming comrades, from first duel to final solace. [Major Character Death]
1. Discord

_I fell in love with this pairing nearly ten years ago when I lacked the historical context to develop it beyond one-shots and modern alternate universe fluff. After learning much more of said context, I had been itching to give it a more comprehensive go._ _Huge thanks to ChibiGingi for inspiring this work with a sketch of the final scene and her own detailed take on the life story of Lü Meng._

 _Originally posted on AO3, January 2016 to July 2017._

* * *

 **Fan Castle, 219**

Cao Ren paced along the ragged outer wall of the rampart. The archer towers were deserted, their torn and faded banners rustling in the chill wind of impending autumn. The land stretched before him, grimly silent in the absence of battle.

Sima Yi appeared beside him, fan of black feathers in hand. "You must be proud."

Cao Ren continued to ponder the bleak and ravaged plain. The fields of mud, stripped of their crops and strewn with debris. The broken blades, the spent arrows, the corpses awaiting the dignity of their funeral pyre.

"For three months you held this place. Three long and arduous months at every possible disadvantage. Your support armies vanquished, your food stores dwindling, your walls crumbling before the flood waters. Your advisers hatching plans to flee if the situation continued to deteriorate. Yet you kept your resolve and inspired that of your men, and so you have earned your deserved triumph."

Cao Ren supposed he should take pride in the stoicism of his military leadership, pleasure in praise from a man so rare to give it without his usual tinge of condescension. He could only muster a sigh. "Our roads are impassable. Our farms will lie barren for seasons to come. I struggle to find triumph in the suffering of our people."

"Suffering is a necessary part of warfare. You of all men should be well aware of that by now."

"I am." Cao Ren bowed his head. "I still have my limits in hardening myself to its toll."

Banners were retreating over the distant southern hills, blood red against the leaden sky. Lü Meng and his army had come in pursuit of Guan Yu - perpetrator of this invasion, this water attack, this ensuing carnage. Guan Yu had long since fled the front lines of Fan. Lü Meng was now on the hunt for his head.

"Off they go, scampering after their prize." Sima Yi chuckled. "Southern rubes and their easily harnessed avarice."

Cao Ren's stomach twisted. "That's a harsh assessment."

"Is it, now? Guan Yu was a powerful ally to Wu. If they had supported his attack, we may have been on the run ourselves. Yet Sun Quan was so quickly convinced to backstab him. And for what? Envy of his strength? Or perhaps some petty grudge about territory?"

"That may be so." Lacking a rebuttal on long-term political strategy, Cao Ren refrained from further comment. "Still, you speak of appreciation for allies. Lü Meng has proved himself such. I ask that you grant him due courtesy."

"I suppose." Sima Yi flapped his fan. "He did act in our favor, after all."

Cao Ren kept his eye on those red banners, wondering what awaited them. Perhaps Guan Yu was near defeat. Or perhaps he would exhaust Lü Meng in pursuit, then regroup for a counterattack. If he joined up with reinforcements, or his sworn brothers - Cao Ren shuddered at the thought of facing down the terrible Zhang Fei, especially after the stress of this protracted campaign.

"We can spare some troops." Cao Ren scratched his beard. "Xu Huang's relief unit is fresh on the field and trained to my standards. Surely it would accept my direct leadership."

"What are you going on about?"

"I should offer my aid to Lü Meng. Help him put this campaign to rest."

"You should take a rest yourself until you start talking sense again." Sima Yi began to lead them both off the rampart. "We never agreed to owe anything to Wu."

"Guan Yu won't fall easily."

"Guan Yu is no longer your concern."

"If he survives? He very well may be. Not right now, of course, but I trust that you prepare for the future by preparing for the worst."

"Hmm. You do have a point." Sima Yi paused. "Even so, why must you be the one to lead? As you said, Xu Huang just recently arrived. Why not send him in your stead?"

"I wish to spare Xu Huang the pain of finishing off his honored rival." Cao Ren took a deep breath. "I also wish to support my own in his time of need."

"Rival? Well then." Sima Yi arched a brow. "I never knew you and Lü Meng shared such a history."

A slight smile. "You never asked."

 **Jiangling, 208**

"It's been quiet. I don't like that." Niu Jin frowned, studying the map spread out in the officers' meeting room. "Zhou Yu must be up to something. What do you think he's planning?"

Quiet was the same background rhythm of these past few months - the creak of catapults and ballistae, the thud of cast boulders and bolts, soldiers and engineers scurrying throughout Jiangling city to maintain siege weaponry and patch the earthen walls. Quiet was occasionally punctuated with a raid on the enemy staging grounds, an approaching siege tower, or the one foiled effort to dig a tunnel. As of late, Zhou Yu's end of such punctuation had been intermittent and called off at first resistance.

"I think his forces are as exhausted as ours." Cao Ren examined the markers for enemy bases of field operations, which moved now and then but gave no sign of expansion. "Zhou Yu took an arrow to his chest and fled to his main camp. No scout has spotted him since. If the wound is severe, his retreat is inevitable. We must simply carry on and prove ourselves more stubborn."

"We need to get out there and fight. We're men of Cao Cao's army, not a bunch of scared little mice. Let's do something different. Something bold. Something Zhou Yu would never expect."

"We don't need to cross the line between risk and recklessness." Cao Ren cast a resigned stare at the map. "Then again, I would have said the same about our enemy's tactics before seeing them in action."

Zhou Yu had repeatedly defied Cao Ren's prudence with strange and successful gambles. His men had sneaked west along the southern bank of the Yangtze, three days' hard march into Cao Cao's territory. They had sacked Jiangling's lone reinforcement point of Yiling, forcing the city into immediate surrender. They had sent the bulk of their army to Yiling when Cao Ren conservatively split his own to retake it, guarding their own camp with a minimal force that repelled his best generals until the others returned from upriver.

Warning bells rang from the watchtowers. Cao Ren and Niu Jin rushed to the southern lookout on the city walls, where they received an answer to their speculation. From all appearances, Zhou Yu hoped to overwhelm them with numbers. The vanguard, several thousand all told, advanced in broad lines across the plain.

"There he is! That filthy mongrel." Niu Jin shot a rude gesture at a distant banner. "Bet he can't fight without any place to hide."

Cao Ren had heard the story countless times over as many bowls of wine. Niu Jin had led the charge to retake Yiling. Lü Meng - the filthy mongrel in question - had defeated him in a surprise attack, and also blocked the forest trails with logs to steal his cavalry as he fled. Irked as he was to lose valuable horses, Cao Ren had to begrudgingly admire the foresight at work.

"Let's arrange a rematch." Cao Ren turned to a nearby lieutenant. "Muster a shock unit. Three hundred men."

Zhou Yu might have numbers, but Cao Ren prided himself on discipline. He relentlessly drilled his men in battle formations, in keeping their will to stand firm against enemy intimidation. Niu Jin might not take many heads from the vanguard, but he could force it to retreat, and give a good rousing show to the rest of their weary forces.

Niu Jin and his unit flowed out of Jiangling's south gate. The shield infantry curved into a wall backed by pikemen and archers. Their first charge sent a shockwave through the front lines, throwing them into unevenly packed confusion. Zhou Yu's men struck back without coordination, regaining minimal ground. This ebb and flow continued in Niu Jin's favor, forcing the vanguard away from the city walls. But his charges began to weaken, and the enemy closed around him like a fist.

Cao Ren thought to pound the gong, to call for the retreat he had so unwisely delayed, to pray that Niu Jin could claw his way out of the ruckus alive. Instead he gave three decisive strikes to his command bell, the signal of supreme authority. Cao Ren raced down to the armory, where his weapon bearers were lined up to dress him for battle.

Assistants helped Cao Ren into the thick layers of his armor - broad pauldrons, padded breastplate and hip skirts, high boots and flared leg guards, a spiked helmet and a streak of war paint beneath each eye. A servant presented his shield, a great wooden oblong reinforced with a rim of steel.

Cao Ren mounted his favorite horse, a gelding he had trained to move as an extension of his own body. His personal guard of elite cavalry, who had prepared themselves at first strike of the bell, followed in a precise grid.

Chen Qiao, chief clerk of Jiangling, scurried to block the city gate. He spread his arms, facing down the armored riders in his wide robes and beaded headdress and embroidered sash heavy with jade ornaments. His right hand clenched a scroll as if to weaponize it by force of will.

"General Cao! What on earth is this foolishness?"

"My troops are in danger. There's no time to discuss. Open the gate!"

"With all due respect, keep your head! Would you risk this city for the lives of a few?"

"Those few are my men. Their lives are my responsibility. How can I guard this place if I cannot protect them as well?" Cao Ren raised his voice. "Now open the gate!"

Chen Qiao got out of the way, instructing the guards to do as told. The city doors swung open as Cao Ren accelerated through them, focusing his gaze on the hordes ahead. Time began to dilate, slowing the gait of his gallop to heartbeats. Weak spots appeared in the miasma of enemy soldiers, formless squads readily frightened by the thunder of cavalry. Cao Ren found his opening and aimed for it.

Cao Ren cleaved the vanguard as a battering ram, shielding himself against the bombardment of blades and arrows. His riders followed close behind him in a tight spearhead. A stream of soldiers escaped in the cavalry's wake. Further out, a single banner remained, sagging and about to fall.

From within the gates, Niu Jin was pounding a drum to signal his safety. Cao Ren ignored him and plunged back into the melee. The banner dropped before Cao Ren reached it. He cleared a path through the hordes, revealing a handful of injured soldiers and the bodies of those he had failed to save. The shocked gratitude in the eyes of the living helped to mitigate his regret over the dead.

The enemy troops scrambled and fled, called back by their commanders' gongs. As Cao Ren began his own retreat, Lü Meng's drum unit fired up with an urgent rhythm. Cao Ren wheeled around as a flash of red and gold made a break for him.

Cao Ren crouched low and charged. They clashed on the plain, bout after bout, as Cao Ren endured the shock of glaive against banded wood. As his arm began to weigh heavy, and the strike sounds took on a worrisome edge of splintering. As Cao Ren steeled his stance against the burning fatigue in his thighs, and Lü Meng started to wobble on his own mount.

They rushed at each other yet again. Cao Ren measured the closing distance, anticipating the time until collision. One breath before, Cao Ren's shield drifted down from his face. As Lü Meng rose up and lunged to skewer him, Cao Ren ducked and clenched his horse tight. He threw his weight sideways, knocking Lü Meng to the ground.

Cao Ren unbuckled his shield and dropped it. He dismounted and removed his helmet, holding it to his chest like an offered gift. It was an empty show of vulnerability, as his cavalry stayed close, and archers and siege engineers watched from the city walls. Yet it carried enough symbolic weight that Lü Meng stood up and composed himself, leaving his glaive where it fell.

Lü Meng wore light armor adorned with brass lions and golden tassels. His hair was bound in a low ponytail, his rugged face unshaven, his eyes incisive and suspicious. This was the thorn in Cao Ren's side, the wedge into his defenses. Perhaps to be resented for choking off Jiangling - more so to be admired for his gumption in tactics and dueling and trusting this impromptu reprieve.

"So you're the brick wall we've been beating our heads on for these past months." Lü Meng studied Cao Ren as if evaluating him. "I can't say I'm disappointed."

"And you're the horse thief I've heard so much about. Quite clever, I must admit."

"They're well bred horses - well worth the trouble." Lü Meng indicated his mount, which patiently stood at attention. "Perhaps you recognize this one."

The steed's coat was unremarkable, but its behavior seemed in line with Cao Ren's standards. "Perhaps you would care to return it."

"You want me to give up my spoils of battle?"

"I'd want you to stay on as its rider. You two make a good team."

Silence.

Cao Ren continued. "Consider this my personal invitation to surrender."

Lü Meng considered it, his gaze sharpening into a proper glare.

"Renounce my lord's vision of growing our homeland into a kingdom. Spit on the trust and education of my mentors. And for what? To grovel before a tyrant such as Cao Cao?" Lü Meng dropped to his knees, lifting his chin to expose his throat. "You want me to bow my head to that demon? Then go ahead and take it."

The insults cut deep as the worst of Cao Cao's ruthlessness - surrendered troops buried alive for lack of food, an entire province slaughtered over the wrongs of its leader. Cao Ren swallowed a retort, choosing calmer words to ease Lü Meng's anger and his own guilt over its root.

"I have no need nor desire to do so."

Lü Meng kept his unflinching reserve.

"My lord is harsh. I will not deny or defend that. I will say that his conquest serves the common people." Cao Ren took a moment to gather his thoughts. "Cao Cao provides academies within the reach of peasants, farms for hungry soldiers to earn their keep. Structure so critical to the rebirth of our war-ravaged north."

No response. No movement. No expression.

"I believe in the boon of Cao Cao's vision, and thus I fight for it. I also fight to lessen its price in whichever way I can." Cao Ren set down his helmet and approached. "And so I refuse to waste the lives of good men."

Lü Meng remained unmoved as Cao Ren stood before him. Only when Cao Ren extended an arm did he look up, eyes narrowed with confusion. As Lü Meng took that arm and got back on his feet, his gaze softened with a curiosity beyond the relief of being spared.

"Curse my lord as you must." Cao Ren motioned for his men to bring Lü Meng his weapon and horse. "But return to your own with honor."

Lü Meng mounted up as the guards refrained from making any move against him. He backed away, puzzling at Cao Ren for a good long moment before turning tail for his own camp.

 **Fan Castle, 219**

"You didn't think to kill him?" Sima Yi refilled both of their wine bowls. "Not for a single moment?"

Cao Ren snorted. "Was that even a question?"

Sima Yi had invited Cao Ren back to his quarters, a surprising act of hospitality. The otherwise distant adviser had even managed to relax, his chill fading like frost in the early spring thaw. Perhaps this amity had more to do with the sharing of liquor than companionship, but it was welcome nonetheless.

"You sent Niu Jin out to inspire your men. Slaying a general would have boosted their morale even further."

"It wouldn't have saved the city. Our supplies were dwindling, our troops falling to injury. And what if Lü Meng came to change his mind? Some of our best men were once our enemies."

"Xu Huang, White Wave bandit. Zhang Liao, former right hand of the treacherous Lü Bu. It is true. One must keep a man alive to put him to use."

Cao Ren ignored the callous edge on that last bit. "Who knew what favor I could ask in the future. What friendship I could forge, if I were fortunate enough to do so."

"A strategically soft heart." Sima Yi shook his head in amusement. "That's new to me."

"It shouldn't be. You must know that southern Jing province fell into the hands of Wu."

"I'm well aware. Guan Yu will have quite a ways to run if he wishes to save his own head."

"Then you must also know that Lü Meng took it peacefully. He refused to harm one hair of a citizen. He sailed upriver in merchant's disguise and gave out food, supplies, and medicine. In turn, the people welcomed Lü Meng and gave Guan Yu no quarter."

"So, a sneak attack. Well played, expected as it might be from those river rats."

"Such ploys are an art to Wu." Cao Ren took a sip of wine. "Even more so than fire."

"Shall I presume that you know this from personal experience?"

Cao Ren laughed. "Was that even a question?"

 **Ruxukou, 217**

The Ruxukou fortress guarded Sun Quan's docks on the north shore of the Yangtze where it met the Ruxu tributary. From the distance of Cao Ren and Zhang Liao's approach, the stronghold appeared as a toy block, its defense force marching ants. Warships gathered in the harbor, preparing to clash with the allied fleet from upstream.

Zhang Liao spoke as if his voice were a blade to pierce the walls from afar. "This is it."

"The end of this useless enmity? It's well past time for that."

"Indeed it is, my friend. We can count our share of triumphs." Zhang Liao fell silent as if thinking back to his legendary defense of Hefei, where he scared off Sun Quan's massive army with a small and aggressive force. "Even so, what purpose was there in all of this back and forth sniping? What greater sense of achievement?"

"We bolstered our defenses along the river, both in fortifications and in numbers." Cao Ren paused in thought. "Yet we grew those ranks by uprooting citizens from the north. I can keep my men productive, but I cannot cure every ache of displacement."

"There's no use in letting that guilt weigh on you. Perhaps not so much in those defenses, either, thanks to this damned bridge from the south."

Twin to a naval base on the opposite bank of the Yangtze, Ruxukou was a convenient crossing for waterborne troops and a constant threat of invasion. Sacking the stronghold would seal off that threat. A quick and decisive victory would hammer the message home, deterring Sun Quan from any schemes to strike elsewhere - and perhaps forcing him into submission.

Zhang Liao turned his head with a knowing gaze. "Why so concerned?"

Cao Ren took care to keep a neutral expression, to present himself as a rock to his men. Though often seen as emotionless to the point of apathy, he never managed to fully hide his thoughts from the eyes of Zhang Liao.

"Our armies once tried and failed to capture this place. The defenses have surely been tightened in the four years since. I expect we'll face an even greater challenge."

"As do I, but we've learned much from that campaign. Our window of attack may be short." Zhang Liao had no need to elaborate. In winter, Ruxukou maintained a small navy. The high waters of spring would carry a full fleet of reinforcements - perhaps even a counterattack. "But our swift strike will bring the enemy to its knees."

"What if it doesn't?"

Zhang Liao refused to show any hint of doubt in all but the most secretive discussions. His expression maintained its steel confidence, as if apprehension were a leaf on the wind to carry back to the troops twenty paces behind their horses. Still he took a long moment before replying.

"Then we do as we must."

Ruxukou loomed, its defenders unmoving. Zhang Liao spurred his vanguard into an early rush, forcing the enemy to charge. His squads pierced the front lines, scattering their initial formations. Cao Ren's infantry followed close behind to prevent the stragglers from regrouping.

Steadily and surely, the defense force was pushed back to the fortress moat. Cao Ren relaxed a notch, internally chiding himself for his prior unease. Then he saw movement, hordes of men lining up shoulder to shoulder.

A curtain of crossbow bolts swept down from the rampart. The vanguard troops stumbled, fell. They backed away in awkward formation, clenching their small shields even as they began to split under barrage after subsequent barrage. Some of the archers tried to retaliate, but their sparse and few shots were pebbles against the hailstorm.

Cao Ren and Zhang Liao called for retreat. Their armies made double time over a hard hour back to the encampment, a makeshift fortification encircled with earthworks and spiked barricades cut from the nearby woodland. The generals retired to their command tent as medics cared for the wounded and troops groaned about the ambush that had driven them off in such disarray.

"So my courage crossed the thin line into arrogance." Zhang Liao took a long sip of tea. "I should have known it wouldn't be that simple."

"You led superbly as usual. No one expects you to be prescient."

"I led my men into injury and death, and all for nothing. No gain in morale or territory or resources. Without a better approach, I only see more of the same in our future."

"This fortress cannot be isolated into submission, at least not by the end of winter. Or convinced to preemptively surrender, judging from the welcome we received."

"Then we force our way in, or wear the enemy down to the same effect."

"In other words, we prove ourselves more stubborn." Cao Ren poured himself another cup as an idea began to form. "I just might have some thoughts on that matter."

Zhang Liao smiled. "I would expect nothing less from you."

* * *

Preparations were made over the following week, and the armies gathered for another march on Ruxukou. Oxen accompanied the rearguard, hauling cartloads of thick wooden shields - tall as a man and twice as wide, with an eye slit at appropriate height. Convinced by Zhang Liao to show some flair, Cao Ren had let the engineers decorate his own with metal bands and elaborate painted detail.

Cao Ren's troops equipped themselves and formed a tight line. They approached the fortress, marching steadily as the crossbowmen appeared and raised their weapons. Archers and infantry followed behind the shield wall. The field was empty of ground defenders - cleared for the coming storm.

The human wall stopped, rooted itself, waited. Cao Ren had no need to pound the war drums, or to order his men to thump their shields to similar effect. This show of defiance spoke for itself.

The crossbowmen unleashed their first bombardment. Rejecting his instinct to flinch, Cao Ren braced his shield as he ducked below its eye slit. Bolts deflected off the heavy wood in a deluge of thumps. One lodged in the peephole, barely missing his helmet.

Cao Ren absorbed two more barrages as he honed his sense of their timing. Just before the crossbowmen stood back up for their next round, he commanded the archers to shoot. With limited visibility through the shield gaps, many of their arrows went wild. A few struck home, sending several crossbowmen out of sight with injury. A mere chip in Ruxukou's defenses, but nonetheless satisfying - a wedge into a crack that might, with patience, be widened.

A lightly armored figure watched from the rampart, unmistakable even across nine years' time. Lü Meng's ponytail was wild and windblown, his brass pauldron agleam in the sun. His gaze stretched far into the north, periodically dropping to survey the battlefield. Cao Ren peered up through his shield as if he could invite those deep and brooding eyes to meet his own. He swore they burned for one brief moment before looking away without acknowledgement.

* * *

"What exactly are we dealing with?" Zhang Liao grumbled. "A fortress, or a porcupine?"

"Same difference, I'd say, given that we haven't yet seen its underbelly." Cao Ren refrained from adding his doubts on whether Ruxukou had one.

They were marching for the third time in as many weeks since their initial assault with the shield wall. Cao Ren and Zhang Liao meant for the enemy to waste their resources, turning to reckless measures that would leave them vulnerable. Ruxukou had no apparent shortage of materiel or men. The bolt rain was constant and heavy, the odd injured crossbowman quickly patched up or replaced, the stronghold impregnable as ever.

"I suppose we should expect as much from our opponent. Lü Meng put up one hell of a fight during the retreat from Hefei." Zhang Liao smiled slightly. "About what you would have given me, had we ever been so unlucky as to cross blades."

"Lü Meng was key to breaking my defense of Jiangling. Clearly he can mount one of his own as well."

"How much ammunition must he be hoarding?"

"Enough that I'm starting to question my personal habits of supply management."

"Watch. When we get in there, that's all we'll find. One great heap of bolts."

Cao Ren had to chuckle at the thought. "At least they'll make for a great victory bonfire."

The battle began like the others before. An approach with the shields, now pockmarked with dents. An exchange of shots mostly blocked or missed on both sides. A charge from the defense infantry, repelled by Zhang Liao's units before it could circle around the shield wall.

Lü Meng appeared dead center on the rampart. His left hand held a bow - his right, a bulky arrow. With smooth and sure precision, he took aim and let fly. His shot bounced off Cao Ren's shield, landing at his feet.

Flags of armistice went up, and the crossbowmen lowered their weapons. Cao Ren signaled his own soldiers accordingly and went to retrieve the arrow. As he had noticed during its flight, it carried a message - an invitation to talk.

Ruxukou opened, and Lü Meng strode out alone - no weapon in hand, no troops lined up behind him in the courtyard visible through the fortress gates. Cao Ren stayed with his men, wary of going forth in kind. Perhaps Lü Meng was sincere about negotiating like a gentleman. Or perhaps he schemed to greet Cao Ren with the blare of a war horn and a barrage to end his life.

"Quite the noble shield you have, but it's not what I came out here to see." Lü Meng's yell carried a friendly note. "Put that down for a moment, why don't you? I'd like to talk face to face."

"I'd like to avoid being lured into an ambush."

"Do you really expect me to kill you?"

"You already tried once before."

"That was a long time ago, back when I had more anger than forethought. I've since learned much from those wiser than myself." Lü Meng paused for effect. "And so I refuse to waste the lives of good men."

That last line resonated as Cao Ren dropped his shield and walked out to close the distance between them. Lü Meng had once challenged him as a young man full of fire and fury, prepared to kill or die in the same reflexive breath. His features were since chiseled by maturity, his eyes calmed into measured vigilance. Still they smoldered with a spark of appreciation that brought a heat to Cao Ren's face beneath their scrutiny.

"You flatter me," Cao Ren said.

"It's an honest compliment. I hadn't expected such honor from a relation of Cao Cao, especially when I did nothing to deserve it."

"All men deserve honor unless they prove themselves unworthy. What was your transgression?"

"I insulted your lord and your offer of employment. I could have stood to be a bit more diplomatic."

"Harsh words are expected from one's enemy, and need not be taken to heart." Cao Ren recalled an omission thereof that had stuck with him enough to wonder if he gave it too much weight. "Furthermore, you didn't insult me."

"Would you have taken my head if I did?"

"Not by choice, and not just for that. Only by necessity - only when more harmonious measures have failed."

Their armies kept their reprieve as warships clashed in the river behind them. Two small boats rammed a great castle ship of Cao Cao's, then latched on with hooks and spars. Sailors nimbly leaped aboard as the gangways were being extended, rushing a crew still reeling from the shock of collision.

Lü Meng spoke with wry commiseration. "Not much harmony to be found in this battle, is there?"

"Not much at all, apart from this talk of ours."

"Would you agree it's a start?"

"It is, though I wonder what resolution we could come to. We can share words. We cannot share a fortress."

"We could share a truce - your lord and mine - if someone would take the first step of putting down the sword."

Strange words from a commander of Sun Quan, who had launched so many attacks against Cao Cao. Still, a man could act loyally in his lord's service while questioning the wisdom of his directives. Lü Meng might simply be playing to Cao Ren's biases. But he had been the one to initiate this talk, and he sought to convince with the peace of a treaty rather than the threat of imminent defeat. Idealistic as the thought might be, perhaps he was of similar mind.

"I have my orders," Cao Ren said. "Yet their details might be up for interpretation. After all, a campaign must adapt to the rigors of the field."

"As with that shield wall of yours. Defense as offense - well played." Lü Meng smiled. "For a bulwark personified, you do know when it comes time to bend."

"I cannot promise that this is one of those times. I can give my word that I'll consider it."

The generals bowed to each other, calmly backing away before signaling their respective retreats.

* * *

Cao Ren took a sip of tea, not realizing he was about to inhale it until the wayward liquid sent him into a racking cough. Zhang Liao pounded him on the back until his breathing settled to normal.

"Tell me that was entirely the fault of your tea."

"It was."

"Now tell me you aren't lying for my benefit."

"Why would I?" Cao Ren snorted. "That would be an endeavor doomed to fail."

The parallel hung between them unspoken. Their time was running short, and they had gained neither foothold nor traction. Now the sickness of spring had come early, threatening to sweep the camp despite their best efforts of quarantine.

"Our morale is low, and our men need their rest." Zhang Liao pressed his lips together in a firm line. "Yet I hate to leave this place empty-handed."

"You said yourself that we would do as we must. Sometimes retreat is the best course of action."

"Sometimes it is - when no other option remains."

Zhang Liao had scoffed at Lü Meng's suggestion to withdraw their troops, considering it an obvious ploy from a commander about to crack under continued pressure. In the weeks since, that pressure had only hardened the stalemate. The navy was faring no better, too preoccupied with its own struggles to aid the campaign on land.

"Tomorrow, we march once more." Zhang Liao's tone was grim. "And whatever the result, so be it."

Night fell dark and overcast, its haze dimming the camp torches to a sickly glow. Cao Ren shifted restlessly on his pallet, exhausted but unable to sleep. The soft jingle of bells seemed to filter through his tent wall. Cao Ren focused on breathing with deep and relaxing rhythm, driving the aural illusion from his tired mind.

Camp erupted in shouts and the fitful stampede of boots. Cao Ren scrambled into the light armor kept in his tent for emergencies. He armed himself with a halberd, applying his war paint to clear the last cobwebs of slumber before charging out into the raid.

Mayhem came into focus through flickers of firelight. Disorganized troops flailed about in fear of hitting their compatriots. Raiders struck like wild beasts uncaged, igniting tents and hunting down stragglers attempting to flee.

That jingle sounded again, louder and closer and no longer a waking dream. Its originator charged from the haze, a bare-chested specter becoming flesh in the light of conflagration. His pants and head scarf were of shining rich silk, his waist adorned with a string of bells, his eyes ablaze with bloodlust. He carried a double-headed chain flail, twirling one end with barely restrained menace.

"The name's Gan Ning." A sneer. "Try not to forget it before I cream your head into porridge."

Cao Ren stood his wary ground, shifting his stance as Gan Ning shuffled left and right in attempts to flank him. The camp was in flames, and they could only hope to retreat with minimal casualties. Ideally Cao Ren would lead a rearguard, but the fear and fire and smoke prevented his men from regrouping. Within this chaos, dueling the enemy leader was the best protection he could offer.

"Nice eye makeup you've got there. What are you? A sing-song girl?" Gan Ning struck straight out as Cao Ren dodged to the side. "Guess that explains why you'd rather dance than fight."

The armory was well across camp, its great shields likely lost to the fire, and a polearm a difficult match for a weapon as erratic as its owner. Perhaps Gan Ning could be lulled into predictability by indulging his arrogance.

"This is pathetic. I almost pissed myself when I heard I'd be going after Cao Cao's finest." Gan Ning swept at knee height, causing Cao Ren to jump backward. "And here I find out he's running a chicken farm."

Gan Ning hopped from foot to foot, clucking as he continued to threaten with the flail. When Gan Ning began to flap his arms, Cao Ren chanced his first strike. It was easily dodged and countered with a shot at his head.

Cao Ren offered up another basic stab. Gan Ning launched into a series of swings, a dizzying tornado of various heights and angles. Cao Ren dashed back repeatedly to stay out of range, his halberd braced as if testing the possibility of parrying. Instead he braced for an attack that his defensive stance was to bait Gan Ning into attempting.

Gan Ning lashed out in a vertical arc. The chain of his flail wrapped tight around the halberd haft as his eyes lit up in triumph. Cao Ren threw his weight backward. Gan Ning lurched momentarily, digging in his heels before he was yanked flat on his face.

"Finally." Gan Ning laughed, pulling himself forward along the trapped chain. "About damn time you joined the fun."

"Fun? What part of this is amusing to you?"

"Setting fires, killing vermin, sticking their heads on spikes to fancy the place up a bit. Just wish I'd brought some wine to the party."

"Those 'vermin' are fleeing. They mean you no harm. Yet you hunt them down while mocking my valor."

"What the hell else am I supposed to do with a bunch of rabble?" Gan Ning got himself face to face. His breath reeked of the remnants of liquor. "In case you haven't noticed, we're at war here."

"I'm well aware, but there's no honor in worsening its pain."

"What do you want, then? A pillow fight? Don't act all pure like you never killed anybody."

"I shed blood when I must. I don't claim to enjoy doing so." Cao Ren gave a sharp tug on the halberd. "And I've long since grown past wallowing in it like a pig in the mud."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Killing is bad, except when you say it isn't. Save me the lecture. I already get enough of that from my old man Lü Meng."

Cao Ren's stance slackened as the name sent a shock through him. Gan Ning leaped forward into a tackle, knocking him flat and momentarily breathless on his back. Blinking the stars from his eyes, Cao Ren braced his halberd as Gan Ning fought to shove it into his throat.

"What was that you were saying about mud?" Gan Ning cackled. "Here, piggy piggy. Nice to see you're already fattened up for the slaughter."

Cao Ren ignored the petty insult, tautening his arms as they began to tremble with exertion. Gan Ning leaned harder on the halberd. Sweat dripped from his forehead, a stinging blur in Cao Ren's eye.

"You feel that? Drip, drip goes the clock. That's your life running out."

A blade whipped over Cao Ren's head. Gan Ning ducked and dropped the halberd, rolling away before Zhang Liao's next strike buried itself in his torso. Looking around wildly, Gan Ning scurried to grab the sword of a fallen soldier. He charged back in with a cocky scowl and the blade awhirl in his hand.

"You think I'm done? Running scared?" Gan Ning grinned, twirling his sword even faster. "Joke's on you. I'm just getting started."

"Go. Lead the retreat." Zhang Liao jerked a commanding nod as he brandished his own polearm. "I'll put this braggart in his place."

Camp was a burning beacon on the moonless plain, surrounded by uncertain flocks of escaped soldiers. Cao Ren sounded a call to assemble on his war horn, mobilizing the daunted and disordered troops for their long march back up the Ruxu.


	2. Diplomacy

**Fan Castle, 219**

"Gan Ning survived that fight - as I heard it, by sheer force of madness." Cao Ren thought back to the tales told at their main base in Juchao where all the men had regrouped. "He took a blow to his sword arm, a deep and ugly gash. He laughed and switched hands to keep fighting. Zhang Liao cornered him against the spiked barricade around camp, intending to force surrender or death. Gan Ning climbed that wall of thorns and vanished into the night."

Sima Yi looked bemused, as if trying to imagine the full sequence of events. "Madness indeed. Small wonder no one moved to chase him."

"Our men had lost their focus along with the camp. They were in no shape for a swift pursuit. As it turns out, we were wise to save our strength. The raiders ambushed us on the road to Juchao."

"Thus continuing to gorge themselves on the blood of the sick and the fleeing." Sima Yi's voice curdled with distaste. "So much for Lü Meng's call to put down the sword."

"It was reasonable to raid us, given that we still posed a threat. I doubt Lü Meng approved every detail himself."

"Lü Meng unleashed his attack dog upon you. Don't think he was ignorant of the outcome."

"I think he was using his resources, unstable as they might be." Cao Ren allowed the wine to loosen the next thought from his tongue. "Just as I have been forced to compromise my ideals for the sake of results."

"Gan Ning referred to Lü Meng as his 'old man'. It seems to me that he was more than a resource."

"He was. The two of them have been friends for some time."

Sima Yi flinched, pausing mid-sip before he sputtered on his drink. Hiding a smile at this rare loss of composure, Cao Ren waited for him to find words again.

"I have some very particular thoughts on what this says about Lü Meng." Sima Yi set down his cup as if anticipating another verbal thunderbolt. "I'd prefer to hear yours first."

Cao Ren had struggled to reconcile this friendship with his knowledge of Lü Meng, to understand its challenges and complexity. He took a long and patient drink as he organized his thoughts.

"On one hand, Gan Ning is everything I despise in a soldier. He is cruel and easily riled, reveling in violence and destruction. Under our strict martial law, I doubt he would still have his head.

"Yet Gan Ning is a military asset. He excels at leading small groups and sneaking past watchmen, and he is fearless, albeit to the point of insanity. I know little of his personal history with Lü Meng and the extent of their common traits. I can say that Gan Ning sees Lü Meng as overly strict and studious - an old man, so to speak. I can also say that Lü Meng does not share Gan Ning's vices, and perhaps he is a better man than I am for choosing to value his strengths."

Sima Yi sat and sipped his wine, eyes narrowed in cynical contemplation. When he began to speak, Cao Ren girded himself against the rebuttal that was sure to come.

"You might expect me to criticize your respective biases, perhaps to unfavorably compare them. You might also expect that I began this dialog to confirm my own bias against Lü Meng. You would not be entirely wrong.

However, it would be foolish to cling to such thoughts in the light of new information. I have my notions, yes, but I should place more weight on yours. You were the one who paid a visit to Changsha, who came to trust Lü Meng as a potential ally. It seems that your diplomatic talks went beyond the usual distance of formality."

Cao Ren warmed at the memory, relishing a secret thrill over its more personal details. "I'd say they went well beyond that."

 **Changsha, 218**

Cao Ren lay on the cushioned bench of his carriage, watching the slow march of scenery through open silk curtains. He normally traveled on horseback, sharing the rigors of the road with the men he was to relate to as their leader. This luxury was meant to reward his rank, to relax him for the diplomatic visit ahead. Instead it compounded his nervousness by giving his thoughts too much room to wander.

Sun Quan had formally submitted to Cao Cao, pressed by the threat of his considerable armies on the north bank of the Yangtze. Their truce was a tenuous ceasefire, a mutual animosity with no hint of moving toward cooperation. Garrisoned at Fan along the southern frontier, Cao Ren thought to calm this unease by hosting an ambassador. Or, as he made his case to Cao Cao - Sun Quan respects our superior might. Let us respect his sense in surrendering before he was forced to his knees by the edge of a blade.

Cao Cao smiled at this appeal to his ego, and they listed some officials of interest. Several were only known to Cao Ren by name. The last was the newly promoted Administrator of Hanchang. Cao Ren feigned some consideration before selecting this final candidate.

A letter was sent, leaving Cao Ren to busy himself with his own administration throughout the interminable days before a reply. When an assistant brought a scroll with Lü Meng's seal, Cao Ren requested to open it in privacy.

I appreciate your invitation, General Cao, but it would be best if I declined. I've troubled you enough that I'd rather not impose any further. If anything, I'd say I owe you a favor. Would you care to pay me a visit instead?

"General Cao! We will reach Changsha within the hour!"

Cao Ren straightened his robes, hooked a string of jade ornaments onto his embroidered sash, traded his topknot cover for the ornate cap of his title. He checked himself in a mirror, finger combing a full and graying beard softened with several days' growth. His battle preparations were imagined as bricks and beams, units and resources arranged to stay solid throughout any contingency. The relations of men defied such visualization, frustrating yet tantalizing in their uncertainty. This visit was a building block of its own, a flagstone laid to smooth over tension. Cao Ren reminded himself to focus on this purpose rather than dream of how honor forged on the battlefield might bloom in a time of peace.

The drum towers of Changsha heralded Cao Ren's arrival. Bannermen appeared at the gate to escort him to a bedecked courtyard where officials waited along with a full ensemble of drums and flutes and zithers. Cao Ren had managed to calm himself by admiring the paved city roads, the neatly kept buildings with their roofs of bright tile, the well-fed faces of townsfolk lined up to watch the procession. The spirited music of welcome sent his heart racing once again, and he closed his eyes and paced his breaths until it came time to leave the carriage.

Lü Meng's hair was bound beneath a beaded cap, his red and gold robes vivid against his dusky complexion. His stubble of the battlefield had darkened into a short chin beard and mustache. He strode forth in greeting with the same formality of his attire, his expression inscrutable as a statue's.

The distance remained as Cao Ren and Lü Meng bowed to each other, made their introductions, and exchanged the customary gifts. When they led the procession from the courtyard, the span of air between them was palpable. They were no longer divided by turmoil or terrain. Yet perhaps the great river still ran between them, never to be bridged.

"At last I meet the man beneath the armor." Lü Meng turned and smiled. "I have to say I'm impressed."

"You and your flattery." Cao Ren gave an amicable snort to cover up his sudden relief. "Though it is good to hear at the end of a long journey."

"You're allowed to take a compliment, you know. As your host, I'm tempted to insist that you do so."

"I suppose I can manage. After all, I'd hate to be rude."

"I'd hate for you to be so concerned about manners that you forget to enjoy yourself."

"Please tell me you have a strategy to help with that."

"Absolutely. It's called wine." Lü Meng picked up the pace with a grin. "Come on. There's a jug of our finest with your name on it."

"Is that a gift or a challenge?"

"I'll leave that distinction to you."

* * *

Praise and liquor flowed with equal abandon at the banquet thrown in Cao Ren's honor. Lü Meng led a series of introductory toasts, each chased with a requisite drink, and Cao Ren found himself resting easily on his heels by the time they were all said and done. General who Tranquilizes the West. Guardian of ordinary soldiers at risk to his own life. An able cavalier, a fearsome duelist - and one of the most honorable men I've had the privilege to face in battle. Here's to the greater privilege of hosting him as a compatriot.

"Such excellent food." Cao Ren drank the dregs of his noodle bowl, savoring the rich and unfamiliar broth. "I've never experienced this sort of flavor."

"These are our specialties of the south. Glad to hear they're an enjoyable change of pace." Lü Meng reached for a dish of steamed turtle meat with small, strange peppers. "Speaking of flavor, you need to try some of this."

Cao Ren took a taste. The turtle was pleasantly spicy. The pepper erupted in a heat that refused to be extinguished by rice or wine. Lü Meng's amusement seemed almost devilish as he observed Cao Ren's futile efforts to ease the burn.

"Too hot for you to handle?"

"Not at all." Cao Ren blinked back his welling eyes as he reached for another serving. "It's delicious, actually."

"I'm well aware of your stubbornness. There's no need to prove it any further by torturing yourself."

Cao Ren plucked another bite into his bowl, breathing through the pain as a euphoric tingle spread over his skin. "Who's being tortured?"

Musicians and dancers performed throughout the meal, accompanying the festivities with subdued elegance. As servants came around to clear the tables, great drums were brought into each corner of the banquet hall. A flourish of percussion called for attention as a pair of swordsmen, stylishly clad in short robes and pants of fine red silk, entered the central area left open as a stage.

The drummers struck three coordinated beats as the men bowed, stepped back to their starting distances, and extended their blades. When the dance began, the drums escalated into a rhythm to stoke the flames of the fight. The swordsmen leaped and flipped and cartwheeled, dodging swift strikes a hair's breadth from amputation. One dancer was counterattacked and swept to the floor. The victor planted a restraining foot on the fallen man's chest, raising his weapon high. Cao Ren flinched as the great downward chop froze just shy of the victim's neck.

"Relax, will you? They know what they're doing." Lü Meng dropped his voice as another pair of dancers squared off in the ring. "Besides, those blades aren't as sharp as they look."

"I would hope not. Even so, I'd feel safer with a staff."

"That can be arranged if you want to get in on the action." Lü Meng made a gesture of invitation. "Let's go. You and me. Show us all how you do it up north."

"I doubt I'd put on much of a show. I'm a cautious fighter as is. Doddering around with an overfull stomach - well, perhaps that would be worth a laugh or two."

"Here." Lü Meng refilled Cao Ren's wine. "This will make you lighter on your feet."

"After that ride and this meal? It would be more apt to knock me out cold."

"You're a prudent man to know your limits. I won't push them." Lü Meng showed a sly glint in his eye. "Not unless you want me to."

"We'll see about that when I'm sober."

When the festivities trailed off into general chatter, Lü Meng escorted Cao Ren from the banquet hall. A conspicuous clicking of jade ornaments followed them down the torchlit corridor, giving Cao Ren a good enough idea of their owner before he sauntered into view. Gan Ning, in a gaudy headscarf and matching robes left open to show off his chest, carried a wine jug the length of his forearm. He grabbed Lü Meng's shoulder, staggering in his attempt to hold him back.

"Where the hell are you sneaking off to?" Gan Ning shoved his jug at Lü Meng. "Somebody's got to help me with this."

"I'm sure you can handle it yourself. General Cao and I need our rest. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"There's a long night ahead of us right now, and enough of the good stuff to keep it going. Go. Tuck the General who Tranquilizes Fun here into bed. I'll wait."

"You'll be waiting until breakfast, though perhaps I should let you if it teaches a lesson."

"You're ditching me for this clown? Seriously?" Gan Ning scoffed. "Maybe you had too much to drink after all."

"General Cao is our guest of honor. We must all do our part to welcome him. My duty is to keep him comfortable. Yours is to muster a whit of basic decorum." Lü Meng snatched the jug from Gan Ning's hand. "Just one decent remark, and you can go back to enjoying your long night."

"General Cao." Gan Ning bowed with false grandeur. "As an enemy, I have to say you amazed me. I never thought you could run away so fast on those stumpy little legs of yours."

Lü Meng fixed Gan Ning with the owlish glare of a Confucian academy master who had caught a student daydreaming instead of faithfully copying his lecture. As a boy who craved the freedom of fields and forests over the tedium of ancient wisdom, Cao Ren had received many such looks - and worse - while suffering through his schoolwork.

"All right, all right." Gan Ning put his hands up before turning back to Cao Ren. "You know, you stand pretty tall for a shorty. Is that all you, or the rod up your pinprick of an assh-"

Lü Meng cut Gan Ning off with a slap to the back of his head, which finally seemed to break through the haze of liquor. Gan Ning stayed quiet for a few long moments as he tried to keep himself from swaying.

"The way I hear it, old man here thinks your shit smells like a peach garden. I guess I can deal." Gan Ning reclaimed his wine jug, then swaggered a brief distance away before turning back to brandish it. "But if you even think about looking at him the wrong way, I'll rip you limb from limb."

"My apologies for that little display." Lü Meng resumed their walk. "Gan Ning is restless enough in times of war. With this peace, he doesn't know what to do with himself."

"I suppose he feels the need to pick a fight when there's none on the horizon." Cao Ren snorted. "As if I'd rise to such trivial bait."

"You still deserve better, and Gan Ning damn well knows it. He reads the classics. He comes up with useful strategies. He behaves himself - but only when he's in a mood to do so." Lü Meng sighed. "Perhaps I'm the bigger buffoon for trying to make a proper official out of a former pirate."

"It's a worthwhile cause, painful as it might be at times. I can understand why you'd try to see it through."

"Of course you can. Our heads are both carved from the same idealistic stone. Even so, there's no sense in keeping on past the point of futility."

"Have you reached that point? Gan Ning did listen to you - eventually." Cao Ren shrugged. "And that last bit was a noted improvement over what he said to me elsewhere."

Lü Meng's eyes clouded over, distant and rueful, and his silence resolved the nagging bother in Cao Ren's mind. The raid may have been part of his battle plan, but its excessive violence was not.

"What's done is done." Cao Ren nodded gravely. "Best to leave that where it lies."

"Couldn't agree with you more." Lü Meng clapped Cao Ren on the shoulder. "What do you say we look forward to tomorrow?"

"With pleasure."

* * *

As per his usual habits, Cao Ren rose at daybreak before a servant of his guest apartments came to wake him. He took a plain and minimal breakfast to balance the prior night's excesses. The fog of revelry still lingered through his morning exercises, only starting to clear as he finished off a second pot of strong tea.

Lü Meng came calling on horseback, casually dressed in hunting attire. A stable hand led a second mount alongside. "Good to see you up and about. How well did you sleep?"

Cao Ren stifled a yawn. "Like a rock."

"I expected as much. Almost expected I'd have to send for a carriage, but you recuperate better than some other people I know."

"Perhaps I'm better at keeping the celebration under control." Cao Ren awkwardly climbed onto his horse, nearly slipping off before he got a leg over its back. "Or, on some occasions, at ignoring the discomfort of its aftermath."

Lü Meng laughed as Cao Ren situated himself in the saddle. "Are you sure you don't want that carriage?"

They rode out through the south gate of Changsha. Farms began to dot the countryside, huts surrounded by tidy vegetable plots burgeoning with midsummer green. Peasants tended crops, chopped firewood, minded the odd chicken or pig wandering through their yards. A farmer pulling weeds looked up at the sound of hoofbeats, calling out Lü Meng's title. He and his family all stopped their chores to bow.

Lü Meng turned, nodding in response. "I'm still getting used to that sort of greeting, and still not sure how I get it outside of my fancy dress."

"Your reputation must precede you right down to physical description," Cao Ren said. "You do cut a distinctive figure."

"I was hoping to be less distinct. To give you an honest look at our citizens' lives undisturbed by the spectacle of a state visit."

"I'm already seeing that. Your people are hard at work, but joyously so, and prospering for their efforts. Heaven permitting, the harvest will be abundant this year."

"Peace permitting, it will stay with its rightful owners instead of sending troops off to war."

"Indeed. Lower taxes whenever possible, invest the rest back into the land where they came from - much to the ire of certain bureaucrats expecting an increase in salary." Cao Ren shook his head. "As if those overstuffed peafowl were in any danger of starving."

"And if they were, they know exactly where to go to earn their keep."

The high road bridged a creek curving around a rice field. A group of young boys carried nets along the levee to trawl for fish cultivated alongside the grain. Two men cranked away at a continuous chain of canisters, pumping water into the paddy from the stream below.

"A water ladder, just built this spring," Lü Meng explained before Cao Ren had a chance to ask. "It used to be that paddies were flooded by hand. Everyone in the village would break their backs hauling buckets for days. Now, a small team of men can do that work with much less time and toil."

"So efficiency is gained by easing the people's hardship. Empathy proves its worth once again."

"Yes." Lü Meng hesitated. "As does personal experience."

Cao Ren stole a long look at the sculptured dignity of Lü Meng's profile, the intensity of his expression, the silver threads through the loose waves of his ponytail. There was an appealing roughness to this man, a down to earth note in the vigor of his voice and mannerisms. Cao Ren had ascribed this to a refreshing lack of pretense. Now he wondered if it had to do with growing up outside the strictures of gentry, countless nitpicks of etiquette that Cao Ren had so despised in his adolescence. Military service had shown him the value of practical discipline, but he still saw little point in behavioral standards with no purpose beyond proof of pedigree.

Lü Meng spoke up with a touch of surprise. "You don't take me for the son of a farmer? An indigent boy who was illiterate until adulthood?"

"Until you mentioned it, the thought hadn't crossed my mind."

"Really?" A relieved chuckle. "To a man of the Cao family, I thought it would be obvious."

"Why would you think that?"

"My mentors, Lu Su and Zhou Yu, were born into wealth and prestige. I studied and listened and asked every question I had, and they praised me as I developed my intellect. Yet the praise came as hard fought as my growth. My words never flowed like theirs, nor did the strokes of my writing. I sat in on their talks of political matters, but rarely felt qualified to contribute. No matter how I reached for their heights, I always seemed to fall short." Lü Meng gave a self-deprecating laugh. "Perhaps I should have stuck to drinking until dawn with Gan Ning."

"Don't be absurd. You're too smart to be content with such mindless rabble rousing."

"I'm a fool who sneaked away from home to make a name for himself in the army."

Cao Ren smiled. "In that case, I'm a fool who sneaked away to start one of my own."

Lü Meng startled, confusing his horse. He settled it back down into a steady gait. "I hope there's a story behind that."

"I'd say there is."

"I could use a short rest and a good tale." Lü Meng indicated a pavilion coming up on the road ahead. "Shall we?"

They tethered their mounts to nearby trees, and Lü Meng unpacked a quilt and a lacquered box of honey cakes. The horses grazed as Cao Ren and Lü Meng settled in and shared their snack, watching silver carp meander about the lotuses in the nearby pond.

"My father was a palace attendant and colonel who died just as I came to adulthood," Cao Ren began. "I was to attend the imperial university and earn similar ranks for myself. Pity I had no patience for scholarship."

Lü Meng nodded. "Neither did I until lord Sun Quan convinced me it was well worth the grief."

"It certainly felt worthless to me. My twin brother, Chun, was a proper successor to Father's prestige. He excelled at the academy as I endured the punishments of our master. He seemed to invent good manners in the way that I would unknowingly break them. He was the brains, I the brawn. He, the gentleman - I, the brute.

As I struggled in brother's shadow, bandits were plundering the rural lands near my home. I left the studies to him and gathered a group of friends - farmers' sons, like yourself, protecting peasants that the inspectors didn't give a damn to help. Those friends grew to a number a thousand, and we came to fight for lord Cao Cao after learning of the greater unrest."

"If only you had been the one to seize power." Lü Meng sounded wistful. "Pardon my bluntness, but you would have made a much more agreeable warlord."

"I doubt I'd have made much of one at all. I was a young man chasing off common scum. Cao Cao was a veteran of imperial warfare ten years my senior. I only knew the basics of managing a disciplined regiment. Cao Cao spoke in grand terms of structure and order, a vision I came to realize I had set out to achieve. Besides, other cousins of ours had already joined Cao Cao's cause. It only made sense to unite as a family.

Brother Chun also came to fight after serving the emperor. He was a skilled horseman who shone in his campaigns and proved key to their success." Cao Ren bowed his head. "Yet he passed away from illness in the prime of his career."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"I appreciate that. It was a loss of potential as well. Who knows what else brother Chun may have gone on to achieve - what contributions to our kingdom's legacy along with his own."

"Who knows indeed, but he did well on both counts in the time that he had." Lü Meng looked away, his eyes as distant as their mark. "If only the same could be said for us all."

Cao Ren mulled over those words as they finished their cakes and packed up to leave. Lü Meng was a shrewd commander, a generous administrator, a welcoming host - a man of many talents forged in his own tenacious crucible. But he followed in the footsteps of giants, strategists and diplomats who had engineered the dreaded alliance of Chibi and continued to wield it against Cao Cao in the wake of that naval catastrophe. Perhaps his shoulders seemed not so broad as to carry the weight of his kingdom in kind.

"That's all I had planned for the morning." Lü Meng saddled up. "Anything in particular you'd like to see? More of the land, or maybe a look into our government? Just a simple tour of the offices - I promise not to drag you into any sessions."

"Whatever you're most keen to show me."

"If you don't mind, I'd rather see something of yours."

Cao Ren found himself echoing that playful tone of voice as he got onto his own mount. "What would that be?"

"Last night, I was entirely under the influence, but only halfway jesting."

"About my sparring technique? Or, shall we say, seeing how I do it up north?"

"Is that how I put it?" Lü Meng snorted with embarrassment. "I'll have to trust your memory on that one."

A nod. "You also expressed a desire to push my limits. I assume that was also sincere."

"It was, especially since I'd much rather do so off the battlefield."

"As would I."

* * *

Lü Meng kept an elegant yet modest estate, much smaller than Cao Ren had expected from his preemptive apologies for its extravagance. He led them both to choose a practice staff from a storeroom, then to an inner courtyard sheltered by wide eaves from the southern sun. They measured their starting distance, stepping back with raised weapons as a gardener pretended to occupy himself with an arrangement of rocks around a tree in the corner of the yard.

They agreed to start with a practice round, a rhythmic exchange of attack and defense. The trade of moves continued until Lü Meng unexpectedly ducked a high swing, tagging Cao Ren in the thigh with a quick spin of his staff.

"You trickster." Cao Ren had to smile. "I thought we were just warming up."

"We are. I'm guessing that your reflexes need more time to catch up to the rest of you."

"Pfft. They're ready for a rematch right now."

Fully on his guard - and somewhat annoyed at himself for his prior complacency - Cao Ren put those reflexes to work. He deflected sly strikes with quick shifts of his weapon, created openings with feints of his own. Disarmed by a clever guard break, Cao Ren caught Lü Meng's followup stab, pulling him off balance into a victorious kick to the torso.

Lü Meng laughed, letting go of his weapon. "I take it you want to switch over to wrestling?"

"Perhaps. I used to be quite the brawler, much to my mother's irritation. I'm not sure I remember much technique beyond my usual obstinance."

"I bet you can do better than you think." Lü Meng removed his shirt, revealing a supple, ageless muscularity. "Why don't we give it a go?"

Cao Ren found his gaze lingering as he stripped to the waist himself. His own strength was of brawn rather than sinew, and he continued to push its capacity by training his soldiers and horses. His lazier colleagues teased him for working too hard, maintaining that his subordinates should handle the tedium of marches and weapon drills and demonstrations of mounted archery. Faced with the lean vigor of Lü Meng's physique, Cao Ren was newly grateful for his insistence on keeping fit.

They circled in slow and cautious steps, matching the shifts of each other's stances. As Cao Ren chanced a grab, Lü Meng rushed in low at his waist. Cao Ren splayed his legs, skidding on the grass as he dug in to stay upright. With a powerful twist to one side, he pulled Lü Meng down onto all fours. Lü Meng braced himself, weaseling out of Cao Ren's attempt to pin him. They wrangled for position, for any hint of purchase through the slick sheen of sweat. When Lü Meng momentarily unbalanced himself, Cao Ren seized the opening with brute force, flipping him hard onto his back.

Lü Meng had one hand trapped at his side, the other fruitlessly braced against Cao Ren's shoulder. He kicked an experimental leg, well short of finding leverage or hooking the neck above his own. Yet his expression stayed resolute as if studying the minutiae of his predicament.

With a smirk, Lü Meng curled up and kissed Cao Ren square on the mouth. In this fleeting and sensuous distraction, Cao Ren was pincered between Lü Meng's knees and rolled over onto his stomach. As Cao Ren pounded the earth in submission, Lü Meng continued to weigh on him, pressing with a heat beyond that of physical effort.

Lü Meng jumped to his feet and took a few jaunty steps back. He watched in amused triumph as Cao Ren sat up and brushed himself off, at a loss for words as the firm print of lips remained warm on his own.

 **Fan Castle, 219**

"That's all?" Sima Yi took his turn in their game of weiqi, encroaching on Cao Ren's formation in a corner of the board. "I don't believe it. Not for one moment."

"There are certain matters I am willing to discuss in detail." Cao Ren set a defensive stone with force as if its sharp click would also scare off the flush in his face. "On others, I prefer to keep my discretion."

"Very well. I respect your desire for privacy. That said, your face does speak volumes."

Cao Ren reddened more deeply as he tried to think of future moves instead of his unwitting betrayal of relations to be kept between two men alone, his memories of a rough and virile ardor eclipsing the comfort of his marital duties. The stone in his hand was dark as the depths of Lü Meng's eyes, and he only drove the image from his mind after realizing that he had placed it to a disadvantage.

"Don't be embarrassed. All men have their weaknesses, especially with regard to such primal instincts." Sima Yi chuckled as he flipped a section of board to his control. "I can think of far worse vices than that particular form of diplomacy."

"Do you consider me weak?"

"I consider you human, much as you try to hide it behind that machinelike reserve of yours."

As they continued their meticulous trade of territory, Cao Ren thought the same of Sima Yi. He originally saw the adviser as an incomprehensible abacus, treating men like the weiqi stones before them - objects to be used and discarded as per calculus of their utility. But Sima Yi had an open mind about the matter of Lü Meng, an interest in his significance to Cao Ren beyond that of duels and diplomacy. Perhaps he mainly cared to know a man's heart as another set of variables for his arcane equations. Or perhaps it was the surprising touch of empathy that Cao Ren chose to see.

The board was well dotted with stones, and Sima Yi studied it at length without making a move. "Either you're better at this than I expected, or I've enjoyed our libations a bit more than planned. Regardless, I am willing to agree to a stalemate."

"Sounds fair to me. Another round, or shall we call this a night?"

"The hour grows late. You had best retire now if you are to ride out in the morning."

Cao Ren waited for Sima Yi to elaborate, wary of ruining his hopes of approval by presuming the reason for this journey.

"You offered to reinforce Lü Meng yourself. Despite my earlier objections, I've come to think that you should."

"Due to our personal dealings?"

Sima Yi did not laugh, nor did he scoff at being taken so trivially. Instead he waited for a long and pensive moment before explaining.

"Before he turned on Guan Yu, Lü Meng spread a rumor about himself. It seemed to me as yet another deception, a ruse to lull the enemy into underestimating his strength. It certainly explained his success at weaseling into southern Jing without a lick of resistance."

Cao Ren had heard no such rumor. He knew of the greater campaign in simple terms of whereabouts and doings, with the peaceful nature of Jing's conquest a rare detail beyond the basics. His advisers wished to keep his focus on the defense of Fan, to avoid distracting him with events beyond his purview. The gravity in Sima Yi's voice struck him with a fresh sense of isolation from the outside world, cold and deep as the flood waters that had done the same.

Sima Yi rambled on. "Of course, I have no way of knowing the truth. Perhaps Lü Meng is hale and hearty as ever, in no need of reinforcements but hardly apt to refuse them. Perhaps he is taking Guan Yu's head as we speak. That magnificent beard might very well be swaying from the end of a pike."

The agitation in that voice put an edge on Cao Ren's own. "Or?"

Sima Yi's gaze shifted in the palpable silence before his reply. "Or perhaps Lü Meng is on his deathbed."

Cao Ren sprang up from the mat, knocking over his unfinished bowl of wine. He turned his back on Sima Yi's upraised hand of protest, his cautions against undue haste echoing down the hallway. The streets of Fan were dark in their midnight silence, the armory guarded by a lone watchman who leaped to awaken the weapon bearers. Cao Ren ordered a horse to be brought, traded his leisure robes for a full set of cavalry armor. A squadron of elite troops was mustered to escort him, with a regiment to follow in the morning.

The waning moon hung low above a crag of mountains on the southern horizon. Cao Ren kept a swift pace on the open plain, a hard march verging on breakneck. The road narrowed as it snaked into the hills, steep and rutted and pocked with stones. Cao Ren's horse trudged on as if through mud, and his eyes began to close with the plodding rhythm of its hooves. Jolted alert and upright, he realized he had fallen asleep in the saddle.

Banners of Wu appeared, followed by a field camp wedged into a small clearing. Cao Ren stated his name and purpose, waving off the guard captain's offer to prepare him a tent. He divested himself of his armor, spread out a pallet, fell fast into slumber beneath the dim and distant stars.


	3. Duality

**Changsha, 218**

Cao Ren grasped for a response to the kiss that had cost him a wrestling match, perhaps a quip about the licentious reflexes tested by such trickery. But words were a pale shadow of the mounting tension in his body, and the smile playing about Lü Meng's lips seemed more of a call to action.

Lü Meng watched with impish ease as Cao Ren got back on his feet. He did not set his stance or brace for a counterattack. Nor did he resist when Cao Ren marched over and scooped him up, carrying him into the inner hall where his private quarters resided. A servant of the house followed discreetly to close the chamber doors behind them.

The bed was plush with quilted covers and pillows lined up on the headboard. Lü Meng sprawled where Cao Ren playfully tossed him, still flushed from the exertion of sparring. His ponytail was a dark brown cascade on the bedclothes, his trousers slung low beneath the muscled lines of his abdomen. Curls of hair stippled his chest and traced down from his navel. His eyes gleamed when Cao Ren's own followed that trail to the prominence of his arousal, enticing him to sate the lust that was surely as apparent.

Cao Ren had a brief and vivid urge to tear away Lü Meng's lower garments, to crush him into the mattress with the passion that had begun as a flash of intrigue and only continued to grow over the decade henceforth. Instead he approached with restraint, cradling Lü Meng's face as he leaned in for a single kiss.

Lü Meng regarded Cao Ren with bemusement as if disbelieving this show of composure. At last he returned the favor, touching a curious hand to the bristles of Cao Ren's beard. Their lips met again and again as they mapped the ridges of jawline and cheekbone and brow, edged around delicate shells of ear. As their hands drifted from contour of face to body, to supple necks and sturdy shoulders. As Lü Meng hooked an insistent leg around Cao Ren's hips, hinting at the pleasures soon to come.

Cao Ren drew back, somewhat expecting to be flipped over once more as he began exploring his way down. Lü Meng only propped himself up to observe. He shuddered at the soft brush of fingers and facial hair, the slow tease of peaking nipples. The undoing of trousers and loincloth, the long and admiring look at his revealed nudity. The kisses grazed over the salt tang of his skin, and finally the musk of his hardness.

Lü Meng fell back with a groan as Cao Ren engulfed him. He arched into the confluence of fist and tongue, wadding the quilt as his hips began to lift away from it. Fingers slid down to their mark, questing, circling. Met with a press of the rear, they worked their patient way in. Lü Meng was silken stiff in one hand and wondrously snug around the other, and he opened with lidded eyes and parted lips, with a heel raised to scrape along the back of his bedfellow. When Cao Ren's lower garments began to weigh on him like the skirts of his armor, he took a moment to free himself of their stricture. At an unmistakable tug on his topknot, he prepared to escalate.

Their joining gave Cao Ren pause. Lü Meng was tight to the point of constriction, perhaps beyond the brink of pain. His mouth was set as if showing his mettle, enduring his fullness more so than enjoying it. Within that excruciating span of uncertainty, Lü Meng reached to stroke himself. His expression relaxed as Cao Ren rocked to match his rhythm.

Cao Ren set out at a deliberate pace for them both to savor each thrust of this fulfillment. His resolve crumbled when the spark returned to Lü Meng's eyes, daring him to plunge faster and harder as the mattress shook in time with their quickening syncopation of breath. As Lü Meng clenched his shoulders, nails dug in for purchase through the slick of sweat, and Cao Ren latched onto this stinging distraction to temper the friction fast rising toward the verge of overflow.

Lü Meng took in great gasps of air, bucking his hips with sudden urgency. He threw his head back with a strangled cry as his body convulsed in a wave of release, as his nails lost their grip to rake along Cao Ren's back. His heat clamped down, a thrilling burst of wildfire, and Cao Ren plummeted into the deep as its tides swept high and consumed him.

They slipped beneath the blanket as their afterglow cooled in the gentle breeze through the window shutters. Lü Meng stretched out, languid and inviting, and Cao Ren shuffled close to pillow on his chest. They curled together, fingers laced and heads nestled, in this calm that had emerged in the wake of warfare's storm.

"I've long since wondered how I could get you to drop your guard." Lü Meng chuckled. "Now I have one answer."

"And I have no regrets, even if I did just fall to another of your schemes."

"That may be so." Lü Meng reached down, sneaking a salacious grab. "But it was an irresistible chance to get hold of another kingdom's resources."

Cao Ren snorted with amusement as his body mustered a lethargic response. "Please tell me you value more than just that."

"I value relations with men who have earned my trust. That's not easy to do across enemy lines."

"That's an understatement."

"Indeed. It takes a certain humility, an effort to understand the other's situation even if there is no real chance for compromise." A cloud passed over Lü Meng's voice. "Which is far more than I can say for some supposed allies."

Cao Ren wondered about the name beneath this darkness, the general of Liu Bei whose shadow loomed in some distant corner. That imagined shadow grew a long beard as one candidate came to mind. Guan Yu, who had charged out on his great red horse and struck down the fearsome Yan Liang in a single blow. Who had deserted the armies of Cao Cao to turn tail across enemy lines and back to his sworn brother's side. Who Cao Ren's colleagues either revered for might and loyalty to his lord or reviled for treachery against their own. Some considered Guan Yu a friend - others still seethed over a long lost chance to hunt him down. Perhaps Guan Yu similarly divided his associates in the south, surely and irreparably as he had cleaved Yan Liang's head from his neck.

"I also value fortitude." Lü Meng's tone returned to teasing. "In your case, even more so off the battlefield."

Cao Ren felt himself blushing. "Are you seeking to test that again?"

"I could be, if you're up for another round."

"At this point, I'm up for a nap. Or down for one, rather." A yawn. "I know when it's time to retreat."

Cao Ren went to roll over to his own side of the bed, not sure whether to get out or give in to its comfort. Lü Meng held him back, his voice husked and tempting.

"Stay with me."

Cao Ren settled back onto Lü Meng's chest with a contented murmur of his own. "If you insist."

"Why would I not?"

Cao Ren allowed his concerns to melt away in the rhythm of his bedfellow's heartbeat. He had been fearful of breaking the last chain he kept on his heart, of being addled by the bliss of fantasy become flesh. In the drowsy depths of this embrace, the fantasy spun out into a dream. An impeccably penned letter of hostage securing a full alliance as a condition of his return. Cao Cao and Sun Quan - imagined from Zhang Liao's tales as a man of fiery dignity and tiger-skinned robes - laughing over tea in the inner palace of Luoyang. Two leaders standing as one in the great courtyard before a sea of troops bearing banners both red and blue.

Cao Ren was roused by rapacious hands and the prod of awakening need. He rolled onto his stomach, empty and wanting, and Lü Meng readied him with exquisite care. And it was he who was taken, he who was filled to the edge between elation and agony, he who rode the crescendo of thunder until they both crashed down from the heavens.


	4. Desperation

**Field Camp of Sun Quan, Jing Province, 219**

Cao Ren emerged from a small tent that had been pitched around him as he slept, the last cocoon of the fever dream that had brought him to this encampment. He had run off from Fan Castle as a man possessed, floating through blurred vignettes of muster and egress and the slog over midnight trails. Reality now surrounded him in sharp relief - the crunch of gravel beneath his boots, the faint acridity of a cooking fire, the scrape and bustle of soldiers lining up for their breakfast rations.

The guard captain strode over, bowed. "General Cao!"

Cao Ren returned the greeting with utmost martial precision as if to compensate for the indignities of his rumpled attire, his hastily combed topknot, his rising well after the first drums of morning watch. He found a small comfort in that his guards were fully dressed and in formation, showing the discipline of his forces although his own weariness had kept him from being his usual example.

"Thank you for the tent, and for setting it up so quietly." Cao Ren smiled. "A sneak attack of hospitality, one might say."

"It's a crude shelter for a commander of your repute. I apologize that we were not better prepared."

"No apologies needed. It was well kept and secure." Cao Ren glanced up at clouds dark with the threat of rain. "It certainly would have sufficed if Heaven had seen fit to drench us."

"You had best make haste before it does. General Lü was in quite a hurry himself. He seemed to be racing ahead of the storm." This pensive remark left an unsaid implication - _Almost as if he doubted his ability to weather it._

Cao Ren gulped down his offered bowl of gruel, gathered himself and his men. He set his pace at the limits of sustainable exertion, his sights on the long and winding road ahead. Through the tedious hours of pursuit, of wildwood unbroken by banner or guardsman or signal fire, this focus drifted into rumination. Lü Meng was as ill as the rumors suggested. Lü Meng was deteriorating, perhaps already dying. Or Lü Meng was tired and hungry and deprived of sleep - just the same as Cao Ren, who must hardly look his best after a rough day of travel.

As daylight began to fade, the road split off into a freshly blazed trail toward an upcoming plateau. A watchtower rose above the treetops, its guards clad in red armor. Cao Ren and his men paused to display their own banners before following the path to a modest encampment. The tower was its lone established structure. The tents were small, much like the one he had just slept in, and only a platform base served to distinguish the commander's quarters from the rest. Even before the Wu soldiers confirmed their leader's identity, Cao Ren felt the anxious thrill of finding his target.

Lü Meng stood alone on an overlook, his back to the camp. His head was bowed, but perhaps in planning or thought or observation of the land stretching out to the south. The brass of his armor was dull, but perhaps muted beneath the dusk of gray and oppressive skies.

"Lü Ziming!"

Lü Meng turned slowly, warily, as if trying to recall which particular deep voice had the confidence to address him by his courtesy name. He approached with earnest yet hitching steps, leaning on his halberd as a walking stick. When the two of them were face to face, he planted the weapon to steady himself.

"Cao Zixiao." Three poetic syllables, nearly reverent in their surprise. "You're here."

Lü Meng's skin was waxen pale, his cheeks hollow, his eyes depressed in weary sockets. His gaze still burned as always, but there was an unsettling edge to its intensity. Cao Ren tried to place this as he grasped after a response, unsure whether to explain himself or to soften the shock that must be plain in his eyes. He came to realize that he was seeing a ghost of the young man he had dueled and briefly captured at Jiangling - of his defiance in the face of death.

"You're exhausted," Cao Ren managed.

"I'm on the hunt. I have no time to rest." Lü Meng took a gritted breath. "Not if I am to put an end to this."

Cao Ren thought to praise Lü Meng for seizing southern Jing by serving its citizens, to gently question the discord between the harmony of that conquest and the desperate haste he was hearing now. He found himself unable to gather his thoughts in detail. "Why you? Why personally?"

"Why not? I began this betrayal. I'm the one who has to see it through. Who else ought to bloody their hands with this dirt?"

Lü Meng must have taken due pride in this coup, a ploy as iconic as the signature campaigns of his mentors. Sima Yi had dismissed his motives as pure greed. From his own witness of Lü Meng's generosity as a host and administrator - or perhaps from eagerness to believe the best of him - Cao Ren had clung to the hope of some nuance within his mindset. This question, more spat than spoken, gave him a sense of vindication.

"What about that pirate friend of yours? He'd be foaming at the mouth over a prize such as Guan Yu."

"He's dead."

The words fell like a blade, and Cao Ren knew better than to follow up with sympathy or inquiry into the manner of Gan Ning's passing. Lü Meng's speech was clipped and terse, chilling the warmth of his welcome - as if the flood had washed away all they had shared in more peaceful times, leaving the stress of this campaign to confound their path like so many jagged rocks in a river's ford.

"Please." Lü Meng sighed. "Go back to Fan Castle. Rebuild your city. Take care of your people. Haven't you seen enough of this misery?"

"I have, long before the two of us ever clashed on the field." Cao Ren had a brief and raw memory of his lord's unspeakable massacre of Xu province, of waterways choked with corpses and running dark with their blood. "I've also seen that there is no sense in avoiding it - not if I have any chance to ease its pain."

"What if there isn't any such chance?"

"Sometimes that may be true." Cao Ren had done his part to end the Xu invasion quickly, leading his cavalry to chase down forces of Tao Qian before they joined up into a greater threat. Yet Cao Cao's rage was unquestionable, its magnitude only evident in the heaps of bodies already begun to rot when Cao Ren caught his first horrified glimpse of the carnage. "But even if my hopes are futile, I'd rather have been there to try."

Lü Meng did not respond, almost as if thinking up another attempt to send Cao Ren on the road back north. Instead he doubled over with a sudden cough, a deep rattle giving way to wheezing. As he got himself upright, he smiled.

"Idealistic as ever, aren't you? Glad to see you haven't changed."

"Did you expect me to?"

"War has a way of hardening men's hearts, making them cynical." A rueful set of the mouth. "At least that's the case for some of us."

"War is a burden, and there's no shame in struggling beneath its weight. Sometimes I count up the heads I was forced to take, the soldiers I failed to protect. Sometimes the regret can be staggering." Cao Ren took pause as he decided whether to admit his next thought. "Sometimes I'm not so sure it was all worthwhile."

"Yet you're still here, keeping on as you do. Refusing to give up on anything you've set your mind to saving." Lü Meng laughed sardonically. "Even me."

"My city is secure, my men in the able hands of fellow commanders. You're alone on this road with the fight of your life at its end. What would you have me do?"

Lü Meng looked off at the horizon, his brows suspiciously knit over distant eyes. Fearing he had hurt his pride, Cao Ren steeled himself for another rebuke.

"Oh, why not? I could use some good company." Shoving off with his halberd, Lü Meng began to lead them both toward camp. "Come on. My tent has room for two."

* * *

The camp horn brayed at first light, a punctual end to an early slumber that had overtaken their talk of recollections and left no chance for further bonding. Cao Ren had woken just ahead of the call as if to atone for sleeping late on the day before. Lü Meng remained a motionless form beside him, unresponsive to soft words in his ear and a gentle shake of his shoulder.

A guard captain appeared at the tent flap, bearing two bowls of gruel topped with the dried shrimp and pickled vegetables reserved as a commander's luxury. Lü Meng stirred as Cao Ren brought the food near enough for him to smell. He got himself seated, haggard in the watery streak of dawn across his pallet.

Breakfast waited between them, emanating its savory steam. A spot of hunger awoke, and Cao Ren went to reach for his chopsticks. His hand fell back when he saw the slump in Lü Meng's shoulders, the loose drape of his robes.

"Aren't you eating?" Lü Meng asked.

"Aren't you?"

"You're my guest. You go first." An amused gleam in the eye. "I thought you hated to be rude."

"I'd hate much more for you to go hungry." Cao Ren allowed himself a single bite, then pushed his bowl away as Lü Meng took a hesitant mouthful. "Here. Have your fill."

"I already am." Lü Meng continued to force down his share, his throat bobbing with effort as he swallowed. "How much more do I need to put a lid on your worries?"

"Enough to get some color back into you." Cao Ren pressed his palm to Lü Meng's forehead, finding it clammy. "And some heat, for that matter."

"This is a fine warming meal. It just needs time to digest." Lü Meng nodded toward the tent door, a window onto the waking bustle of camp. "Why don't you go keep an eye on the men?"

"I'd rather keep an eye on you."

"What if I promise to finish all of this in the meantime?"

Cao Ren smiled. "Deal."

Lü Meng's troops lined up, ate, proceeded to their duties with the same quiet efficiency. The cooking pot was scraped clean, the fire scattered, dirt shoveled onto the smoking embers. Tents were dismantled one by one, leaving gaps in their neat rows. Cao Ren took a slow walk to inspect each shelter still standing, finding them empty as expected. A tent stood alone behind a thicket, well away from its original row. Inside, two privates stretched out with eyes closed and arms at their side, as if unsure whether to fake sleep or death. One of the men twitched as Cao Ren's shadow fell across him. A moment later, he implausibly began to snore.

Cao Ren thought to double clap his hands, to demand that these layabouts get up and get ready, perhaps to unstake the tent and enjoy the spectacle of two surprised lumps scrambling out from underneath. Instead he considered this odd breach of protocol and its continuation past the point of absurdity. These antics - about the last that Cao Ren had expected to see amid the discipline of Lü Meng's camp - likely had to do with some discontent best revealed by holding a mirror up to their foolishness.

"What is this? Do you expect that General Lü will leave you behind if you hide loudly enough?"

The feigned snoring continued as if in affirmation.

"I take that as a yes, so let's think your plan through. First off, this camp only harbors two hundred troops. In such a small force, your absence would be as plain as this noise you insist on continuing."

Said noise paused, restarted for a moment before trailing off.

"Now imagine that you did get away unnoticed, that General Lü forgot how to count his own men. Where would you go, just the two of you? Home to your villages and families, however long and treacherous those roads might be? Or would you head back north through the hills - away from the dreaded Guan Yu?"

The quieter of the two privates flinched before remembering that he was supposed to be asleep.

Cao Ren thought back to this fear in his own troops, the preemptive defeat in their eyes as they milled about in the cold and steady rain. He now stood on dry ground instead of a city wall lapped by rising waters, and he held his chin high with the confidence of past triumph rather than resolve against the destruction of his kingdom's capital. Yet he addressed a pair of strangers merely beholden to him by orders from Lü Meng - words that, for all they knew, were empty, and Cao Ren could only hope to show credence by offering more of his own.

"My men once believed Guan Yu to be invincible. He certainly seemed it when he sailed up to the walls of Fan Castle, eye to eye with the guard captains upon the ramparts. When crossbow bolts rained around him without landing a single blow. When I shot an arrow into his left arm, and he pulled it out as if shooing a fly. When he returned the next day with a bandage which remained pure white as if he had never bled."

The privates had opened their eyes and sat up to listen. Cao Ren felt another echo of his speech on that dire and dreary morning - the swelling pride of bonds being forged between commander and soldier.

"Guan Yu is no god. He is as human as you and me. My troops held him off for three months while flooded, isolated, and severely outnumbered. With aid from our allies, we drove him away. General Lü took Jing province out from under Guan Yu's nose by earning the respect of its citizens. Would one with the power of Heaven be so easily spurned by his people?"

The privates' expressions agreed that he would not.

"And now Guan Yu is on the run. We are wise to keep our vigilance, but let us not give in to fear. Let us stand strong with pride in our ability, in the expertise of General Lü's leadership. Guan Yu was beaten while at his best. What chance does he stand at his worst?"

The privates wordlessly regarded each other. At length, the snorer stood and bowed. The quiet one followed soon thereafter, and they began to gather themselves for the march ahead.

* * *

Lü Meng rode tall and proud, shoulders squared to show off his polished pauldrons. His eyes glowed with renewed focus, his complexion with a swarthy hint of vitality. Catching the long and thorough look that Cao Ren had apparently failed to sneak, he smiled.

"It's good to see you back on your even keel for the first time since you arrived."

"It's good to see you properly fed, even if you won't admit to needing those rations more than I did."

"I'm still not sure about that. Don't go fainting on me before we make camp this evening." Lü Meng clucked his tongue. "Then again, I could give you a ride in the grain cart as a reward for caring too much at your own expense."

Cao Ren gave a dismissive snort. "I've marched farther with less in my stomach and none in the foreseeable future. I'll live."

As Lü Meng led the troops in single file down the mountain path, Cao Ren and his personal regiment waited to take their place at the rear. He had begun his militia with a similar handful of friends, riding in secret without the support of his family estate. In those lean and early days, they had subsisted on fruit and wild game and the rare gift of grain from grateful villagers. The suffering of hunger was one more fire beneath the crucible of their growing discipline, tempered by the perilous thrill of earning a reputation as protector of the people. Excitement and uncertainty had also carried Cao Ren through these recent rough nights on the road. Both ebbed away as he kept his uneventful guard, leaving stiffness and aches to remind him just how far he was past his youth.

Rocky slopes descended to foothills covered in dense forest. The men doubled up as the path widened enough for them to do so, edging closer to the front of the line and a view other than mottled green and brown. Two soldiers resisted this tide. As they fell through toward the back, Cao Ren had a good guess at their identity even before they ended up directly ahead of him.

"Gentlemen! How are you faring on this road?"

Snorer and Quiet jumped, glancing behind them at last. They looked at each other as if trying to gauge how much trouble they would be in by responding.

Cao Ren laughed. "You can speak to me, you know, just as you would to General Lü. I'm not here to trick you."

"I'm bored. I have a pain in my side. And I'm hungry, but I know that's my own damn fault because I didn't get up for breakfast." Snorer shrugged. "Hey, you asked."

"Stand tall and breathe deeply before that pain turns into a cramp. I can't help with the boredom, but after these past few months, I'll take a dull march through allied territory over constant vigilance against ambush."

A long pause. "Guess I should be thankful for my luck, huh?"

Quiet gave Snorer a look to indicate that he should.

The trees began to thin, giving way to shorter scrub and a view of the open plain. A shout went up from the front, and the bannermen raised their flags high as the march picked up with spirit. Cao Ren took this for joy at being out of the woods at last. Then he spotted the green banner, torn and soiled and abandoned on the roadside. Even if his troops were unable to read its name, Lü Meng had certainly made it clear to them.

Guan Yu.

Castoffs continued to appear from an army that seemed to be more concerned about speed of flight than preparation for battle. Swords, shields, spears. Another banner upon a long pole. A scaled chest plate, a fine brass helmet plumed with black horsehair. Snorer dashed out of line upon this last sighting, returning with a wide grin and his prize tucked under an arm.

"Well, would you look at this." Snorer fluffed the plume, brushing out a few specks of dust. "What was I just saying about luck?"

Quiet jabbed Snorer as he set about wrangling himself into the helmet. "Do you want to lose your head?"

"Yeah. You bet." Snorer settled his headgear out of its awkward tilt. "That's exactly what I was going for by covering it up."

"Throw that helmet away."

"Why? Because I saw it first? Want me to go see if I can find you another one?"

"I don't want it, and neither should you." Quiet sneaked a worried glance at Cao Ren before turning back to his tent mate. "Throw. It. Away."

Snorer ignored him.

Quiet continued. "You remember. We all do. Why do you think nobody up front beat you to that?"

"That was different. This stuff right here is all fair game."

"Do you want to be the one to find out the hard way if it isn't?"

Snorer kept his silence, head lowered in thought. As they passed by an untouched scattering of staves, he tore off the helmet and heaved it into the pile.

Lü Meng signaled a change of formation. Cao Ren rode forward to join him as the long tail of their march spread out into broad lines behind them. In a field up ahead, a small unit was scraping together a campsite. High above them flew a flag of surrender.

"Guan Yu, exemplar of loyalty and honor." Lü Meng's words dripped with derision. "So much for earning the same from his own men."

"If I were to be charitable, I might suppose that these troops were weary. If I were to be honest, I'd say that an able commander could still inspire them to follow. And if I were to be optimistic, I'd think that Guan Yu's failure to do so speaks volumes about his condition."

"If I were to be even more optimistic, I'd say that you and I should offer these men some real leadership. Too bad that trail of garbage tells me they've lost the will to fight."

"It's not all fit for the scrap heap. Most of those weapons and armor are still in good repair."

"They belong to Guan Yu." Lü Meng smirked. "And so, by definition, they're garbage."

"Is that why your men refuse to touch them?"

Cao Ren had matched Lü Meng's light tone, expecting another quip in return. Instead he received silence. He had wondered why Snorer discarded his spoils so easily in response to Quiet's fear, sensed a dark current beneath that tense exchange. As Lü Meng fixed his gaze forward, no longer meeting his eyes, Cao Ren felt the unease of that current rising to the surface.

"Last night, as we caught up on our respective campaigns, you praised me for capturing southern Jing without a single death. I accepted your praise without question." Lü Meng took a determined breath. "I lied."

Cao Ren waited for him to elaborate.

"A lieutenant of mine hailed from Runan, from the village I was born in. His family and mine were well acquainted. When we recognized each other, we embraced as old friends. Serving together, we shared a piece of home no matter how far the road took us.

When my forces traveled through Jing province, I set a strict example to prove us worthy to its people. We would only give, never take - not even a single tea leaf or speck of rice. Over and over, I imparted this rule to my men. I reminded them how Guan Yu raided our kingdom's grain stores. To steal from the citizens would stoop us to the greed of our enemy.

As we marched into a city, a sudden storm blew over, and we found shelter as it was offered. A peasant household opened its doors to us. I waited under the eaves. The lieutenant from Runan went inside. When he came back out, he was wearing a rain shawl made of straw.

I asked the lieutenant when he had taken up weaving. He reddened and said nothing. I told him to return the shawl. He insisted that it was a gift, that the peasants wished for him to keep his armor from rusting. I insisted on following martial law."

"So you took his head," Cao Ren finished.

"The law took his head." Lü Meng dropped his gaze, which was bright with the shimmer of tears. "I only carried out its duty."

"When faced with such obligations, I have long since told myself the same."

"I could have gone into the house, asked the peasants whether the lieutenant was telling the truth. Shown him the leniency that I once granted Gan Ning for worse offenses. Instead I made an example of him. Was I right? I'll never know. I do know that the fear of pillaging remains in my men. If that's a greater good - "

Cao Ren nodded somberly. "Then so be it."

The deserters' camp drew near. As Cao Ren and Lü Meng approached the perimeter, its guard captain hastened forth to meet them. He threw himself to his knees, hands and forehead pressed flat against the grassy earth - seemingly anticipating a blade to the back of his neck, as if the enemy of his former lord remained his own as well.

Appearing to relish this deference, Lü Meng took a moment before speaking. "Stand up, why don't you? There's no need for such formality among friends."

"Especially when they've come to offer you aid," Cao Ren added.

The guard captain got up and tidied his uniform, eyes narrowed with weary skepticism.

"There's no need for such suspicion, either." Lü Meng dismounted and took a casual step forward. "We're not here to ask you to fight."

Cao Ren jumped down from his own horse. "Or for any other repayment in particular."

The guard captain glanced over the strict rows of soldiers before him. He took a much longer look at his own troops lethargically milling about, the scatter of tents in various phases of setup, two men struggling to anchor the stand of a cooking pot in a small and unevenly dug fire pit.

"I thought you both would be out for my blood. That you'd cut me down and be back on your way. But I still have my head, and you're still here." The guard captain's mouth curled wryly. "I guess you see some hope for this mess after all."

Cao Ren and Lü Meng let their silence serve as affirmation.

"Then I guess I should take you up on your offer before you think any better of it."

* * *

The former guard captain of Guan Yu read over his freshly penned letter, squinting in the gathering dusk. "By order of General Lü, these men have free passage within Jing province. They may camp as they wish and request provisions of grain as needed." He shook his head. "Let me guess. This is some sort of secret code for 'Kill on sight.'"

Lü Meng smiled. "It's exactly as you stated."

"Maybe it is, isn't it? I did give you that chance. I'd think you would have taken it if that's what you were after." The guard captain looked past their campfire to the steaming gruel cauldron, the neat heaps of grain sacks, the even rows of tents alongside an equally sized grid of Cao Ren and Lü Meng's own. "I'd also think you wouldn't have bothered to help us settle in like this."

"You think logically." Cao Ren nodded. "And correctly, for that matter."

"Logically, huh? I fled straight east with nowhere to go, ended up right out here in the open with no way to fight back. Begged the two of you to put me out of my misery. But even after all that, I did manage to save my own hide." A sad sort of scoff. "Too bad I can't say the same about the great Guan Yu."

Lü Meng sat up straighter, eyes keen in the flickering firelight.

"He's doing what I did. Run like hell and pray for the best. Guan Yu sees this road as some sort of miracle waiting to happen. All I see is more of your banners in the villages and watchtowers. And at the end? My own grave."

The guard captain had been waiting for a pot of tea to brew, and he filled three cups to pass around the fire. Cao Ren and Lü Meng sipped in silence as he continued to ramble.

"At first, Guan Yu really was great - and with him, we were unstoppable. We sailed up the river in late summer, the rainy season. We broke holes in the levees when the water began to rise. And the rains were heavy, and the river overflowed, just like Guan Yu said it would. So there we were, on our fleet of warships, with Fan Castle in the middle of this lake that used to be a plain, waiting for Guan Yu to just sail up and take it.

"But he didn't. Not even with that whole army we captured, and the walls crumbling and us doing our damndest to help. When the waters drained away, Guan Yu went to move in for the kill. But he just kept getting beaten again and again."

The defense of Fan had begun with similar optimism, with two vast armies set to strike the advancing enemy as hammer and anvil. Then came the rains, the flood, the reports of surrender and obliteration. Both support forces were gone, and a mere thousand troops remained, cut off from the world by waters gray as the stone walls of a tomb.

Cao Ren had long since worked to suppress his instincts of fear, to face each danger of warfare with mechanical detachment. He tasked his men with flood control, salvaging supplies and shoring up the packed earth walls of Fan, and called an emergency council. One by one, in escalating detail and urgency, his advisers begged him to flee the city. When Cao Ren learned that a boat had been prepared for him to leave that night, a rare and heavy dread began to bloom in his stomach.

Man Chong was the last adviser to speak, a calm and confident contrast to the others' panic. The waters would recede. Reinforcements would arrive. Cao Ren simply had to stand firm as he had handily proved himself capable of doing. Alone, he had held Jiangling for a year. What then was a month here with help on the way?

As Cao Ren thought back to the lessons of that campaign, his dismay hardened into determination. Three days thereafter, he stood before an army ten thousand strong, drafted from every household with men in condition to fight. A single brick, he said, might seem like nothing. Together, they were the wall that would save their city. And in the darkest hour of peril, Cao Ren would throw his own shield before Guan Yu himself.

They began a steadfast and economical motion, building their resolve on each small success. Each anticipation of enemy movement, each ballista bolt precisely aimed into a boat, each grapnel wrested off a crumbling rampart before its claws claimed another hunk of earth. Each day that Fan remained standing - each morning call led with Cao Ren's praise of their collective fortitude.

One month became three before the banners of Xu Huang swept onto the ruined plain. When Cao Ren joined up with him to drive Guan Yu away at last, he was left with a void of exhausted relief more so than the elation of triumph.

The guard captain continued. "I could have gone off with some of the others before me, made my way home when I still knew the road back there. I guess I was holding onto what Guan Yu was when I first came to fight with him. And I guess I wanted to see that again - one last time."

A chill spread through Cao Ren as he glanced back across the fire. Lü Meng's face was spectral in the flickering light, worn and drawn and roughly lined with shadow. His throat worked as if seeking words, perhaps stuck between sympathy for the guard captain's plight and glee over Guan Yu's decline. Suddenly he ducked his head, fist to mouth to contain an eruption of coughing.

"Sick of my story, I take it?" The guard captain laughed. "Wouldn't be the first time I got that sort of reaction to running my mouth."

"It's not you. It's this dry winter air." Lü Meng poured himself another cup of tea, imbibed it in one long and measured swallow. "I just need some more to drink, that's all." But his speech still caught in his throat, rough as if parched beyond thirst.

"And we both need a good night's rest." Cao Ren stood up. "May you and your men enjoy the same as well."

"Oh, we will. These past few days, we've been dead on our feet." The guard captain leaned forward onto all fours to press himself up off the ground. "I expect we'll be dead to the world for the next week."

"So we shouldn't invite you to breakfast?" Lü Meng teased.

A yawn. "Only if you're offering to pick me up and carry me."

Cao Ren and Lü Meng took their leave. Most of the men had already retired, and two kept watch over the campfire's dwindling embers. Lü Meng stumbled, and Cao Ren caught him before he could fall over. As he steadied himself on his feet, he was trembling.

* * *

On the prior night, Lü Meng had undressed for sleep without incident. Now he struggled with his armor for a long and awkward while before motioning for Cao Ren to assist him. Having briefly fumbled at his own straps and buckles, Cao Ren figured that Lü Meng's fingers had also gone stiff in the chill night air. But his breaths were rasped, his face shining in the lamplight with an odd film of sweat, and Cao Ren's heart began to weigh with undisputable truth.

"You are ill," Cao Ren admitted.

Lü Meng did not speak, almost as if thinking up another guise of exhaustion. He let his eyes close in lieu of response, and Cao Ren wondered if they were avoiding the hurt and fear that he suspected was bright in his own.

"I heard the rumors. That's why I came." Cao Ren sighed. "I suppose I was as apt to deny their truth as you were to keep it from me."

"I wanted to seem weak to my enemies. Not to be pitied by my friends, especially since I hardly deserve it."

"You deserve rest and aid - not to suffer this burden alone. And you certainly don't deserve for it to destroy you."

Lü Meng took another moment of silence. When he finally replied, his words were cold with finality.

"What if it does?"

Cao Ren crawled into his pallet to avoid the question. It hung, looming, in the darkness of their tent, refusing to let him sleep.

"Then I can only hope its greater good was worth the sacrifice."


	5. Descendance

**Jing Province, 219**

Lü Meng had relayed about two thoughts in as many hours of travel. His knuckles were white around his horse's reins, his jaw firmly set as if biting back some frustration he refused to express. Cao Ren was one to leave silence where it lay rather than disturbing its peace with idle chatter. But the tension within this quiet had only continued to fester, demanding that he speak up and break it.

"Are my troops keeping up to your satisfaction?" Cao Ren's regiment from Fan had caught up that morning, doubling the size of their force. The men of Wei had channeled the energy of their grueling march into an efficient teardown of camp. A short break had them back on the road with stony determination, their blue banners steady alongside Lü Meng's own.

No response.

"Are you in need of a drink? A rest?" Cao Ren indicated the quiver on his back. "Perhaps a pheasant for this evening's fire?"

Silence.

"Then tell me what's wrong. I've never been much for mind games, especially not with you."

"We lost a day's travel back at that camp. That better have been worth the trouble."

"It was, and you damned well know it." The words had spat out like a slap, and Cao Ren took a pause to calm his voice. "You said that you strove to set an example, to give rather than take. You granted that guard captain far more than mercy. By setting him up for safe travels, you gave him hope for the future."

"Hope. Heh." Lü Meng laughed bitterly. "Nice to see that someone still has it."

"Are you meaning to say that you don't?"

"When's the last time we saw anything?"

Cao Ren felt no need to give the obvious answer of the deserters' encampment they had helped to establish. Since then, their path had wound back into wilderness. They had not seen any village or mail post at which to inquire, any charred logs or trampled grass or other such remains of a camp site. Yet Guan Yu's direction was clear, and this route his only escape, well beaten through the thorny underbrush that would ensnare any attempt to deviate. Cao Ren thought to list these details before realizing that Lü Meng might be apt to argue each one in turn. Instead he fell back on the rhythms of speech that efficiently calmed his men, basic facts to lull them out of overthought.

"There is but one road west. We are on this road. Our travel is swift. Our morale is high. The signs will appear soon enough."

Lü Meng scoffed. "Or too late for us if Guan Yu is far enough ahead."

"How so? He's only running deeper into Wu territory. I imagine that other colleagues of yours must be stationed here."

A nod. "I did hear word of lord Sun Quan sending more troops into Jing."

"Then I also imagine that Guan Yu will find those troops long before any way out."

"Perhaps. We could be chasing him into a trap." Lü Meng's gaze sharpened with pessimism. "Unless he cuts them all down and slips the noose."

"With what numbers? The captain said he had taken a good third of Guan Yu's forces. From here on out, he'll only continue to bleed men."

"He is bleeding. That's the problem. Guan Yu is a wounded animal. You and I both know exactly what that means."

"If he has nowhere to run, then he'll hide. If he hides, he'll be flushed out eventually."

"Or he'll get backed into a corner with no escape in sight. And his only recourse, a fight to the death."

They rode in silence until Cao Ren pointed out an open meadow gilded with afternoon light. Lü Meng insisted that it was too early to make camp, that they could all march through the night and nap at the roadside. His resistance did not last. He was fading along with the sun, a dim and dogged lantern flame threatening to gutter out in its oil.

Entrusting a lieutenant with his supervisory duties, Cao Ren slipped off his heavy armor and sneaked into the scrub. He lucked upon a pheasant before the foliage began to blur into the blue of dusk. Back at camp, Lü Meng sat by the fire, fingers clawed around a bowl of gruel. He stared straight ahead, only taking a halfhearted sip when he saw Cao Ren approaching. When Lü Meng noticed the bird swinging from Cao Ren's grasp, his lips quirked up into a grin.

"I've been griping at you all day, and you go and fuss over me anyhow. I suppose I ought to say thanks."

"I got you to smile, didn't I? That's enough for me."

"There had better be enough of that bird for you, too. Don't make me feel even worse about being spoiled."

"Don't make yourself feel bad in the first place. This is food. Succor. Necessity." Cao Ren took out a hunting knife and set about dressing the pheasant. "If I wanted to spoil you, I'd carry you."

"On horseback?" Lü Meng laughed. "How would that even work?"

"I'd steer with my legs. I've had enough practice with mounted archery."

"What about your arms? Last I checked, I'm a bit heavier than a bow."

Cao Ren took a moment to think. "All right, new plan. You sit on my pauldrons, hang onto my helmet - not the spikes, of course - and enjoy the ride."

"Not much of a ride, don't you think? I'd give it about twenty paces before we both fell off."

"I thought you knew better than to underestimate my endurance. I could hold you up longer than that."

"How much longer?"

"At least one li. Maybe ten, or even more." Cao Ren swallowed a rising hitch in his voice before it lumped in his throat. "To the end of this road, if I had to."

Lü Meng regarded him, fractured and blurry, and the softness in his eyes reflected the water blinked back from Cao Ren's own.

Though small and thin, the pheasant yielded enough meat for two. Cao Ren fetched a pan and fried it up as his father had taught him after he took his first prey in the field. Now, as then, the circumstances of the hunt imparted a unique satisfaction to the meal, a flavor not found in the herbs and spices of an estate kitchen.

Lü Meng had been eating his share without any complaints about the extra that Cao Ren had slipped into his bowl. Partway through chewing, he looked up and froze. Cao Ren braced himself for another coughing fit. Lü Meng only continued to stare until Cao Ren followed his gaze. Far on the southwest horizon, puffs of black smoke rose in slow rhythm through the last gleam of twilight.

"That's one of yours?" Cao Ren confirmed.

Lü Meng gave a single nod, leaving the dark and ponderous signal to speak for itself.

The end of the road.

* * *

Cao Ren had hoped for Lü Meng to rest well, fortified by their meal and a new sign of Guan Yu's location. Instead he was up before morning call and slogging through the motions of preparedness. Cao Ren had drifted off to sleep through a bout of coughing, stifled but nonetheless fitful. Perhaps Lü Meng had been kept awake like that all night, suffering and alone. Perhaps Cao Ren could only have laid a hand on his back, powerless to still the spasms. But he would have received a squeeze of his fingers, a grateful turn of silhouetted head - an assurance of bringing comfort in even the smallest way.

"Are you sure you're fit to travel?"

"I have to be." Lü Meng sighed. "What else am I to do?"

"Stay here with your men. I'll go ahead with my own. You can follow tomorrow after you've had a proper chance to rest."

"Tomorrow, Guan Yu might have already moved."

"Then I'll join up with your comrades and track him."

"No!" Lü Meng calmed his voice. "I can't let you do that yourself."

"Why not? Do you think Guan Yu would kill us all?"

Lü Meng glanced away in lieu of response. In that palpable silence, Cao Ren began to dread that he was less concerned with his allies' safety, more so with personally dealing the final blow.

"So you must ride out with us this very moment. I accept that. But I can't let you do that yourself, either."

Lü Meng cocked his head.

"Either we find a way to ride double - though perhaps not literally on my shoulders - or I find somewhere else for you to sit. Your choice."

"My choice is for you to find something worth worrying about. I know my limits. I'm nowhere near them."

Cao Ren turned to a pair of soldiers loading up the grain cart. At the edge of his gaze, Lü Meng approached his horse with hesitation. He boosted himself up halfway, then tried again to no avail.

"General Lü needs a spot to lie down in. Make him a bed with some tent fabric for cushioning."

The men paused skeptically before continuing as they were. Having turned his head to listen, Lü Meng wandered over, mouth set in resigned surrender.

"Do as General Cao says."

The supply troops formed a platform out of rice sacks and lined it as Cao Ren had directed. Accepting a hand up into the cart, Lü Meng settled in with a look of relief. One of Lü Meng's elite guardsmen took charge of his mount to ride along at the front.

Knowing the significance of the smoke signal they were following, the men marched out with a decisive yet nervous energy. The grain cart weighed on Cao Ren from the tail end of the line, and he wondered how much it had to do with the tension he sensed in the troops. He steeled himself for questions from the guardsman, mulling over excuses for Lü Meng's condition. Cao Ren decided to simply mention the commander's lack of sleep, an incomplete truth to absolve him from some lie likely to be seen for what it was. But the questions never came, and they both kept their peace until the sight of a distant town raised a shout from all in the front.

They halted to get Lü Meng back on his horse for the approach. He was already up and hustling to the front of the line, and the elite guardsman only had to meet him halfway. When Lü Meng joined Cao Ren at the lead, he seemed better off for the ride, bumpy as it may have been.

"You managed to sleep for a bit, didn't you?"

"You can tell? I must be pretty well rumpled, then."

"I was going to say that you look rested. But since you mentioned it, it would be good to sort yourself out."

Lü Meng reseated his pauldron, shook out his waist sashes, untied and redid his ponytail. Freshly tidied, he sat up with renewed dignity. "Better?"

"Much."

The town drew near, its red banners unfamiliar. Cao Ren sifted through his memories of names from battle reports and war councils, advisers mentioned in passing and generals never faced on the field. Lü Meng had brightened upon first sight of the banners, and he began to speak before Cao Ren went to ask.

"Zhu Ran. My suc-" Lü Meng swallowed. "My apprentice of sorts. When I left for Jing, he was poring over every strategic scroll in the library. Looks like he's done well at putting theory into practice."

Cao Ren had hoped to be meeting up with another veteran commander. He tried to focus on the admiration in Lü Meng's voice rather than concerns about Zhu Ran's inexperience. "How has he fared in battle?"

"He's done his share and done it well. I can't take credit for all of those fortifications at Ruxu."

"That was quite the solid defense. I have to admit I still envy it. Has he gone on the attack?"

"Has he ever. Lord Sun Quan had his eye on a stretch of mountains with a bit of a bandit problem. Zhu Ran was sent off with two thousand men and all the time he needed. He was back in a month." Lü Meng smiled. "That rabble never stood a chance."

"I'm sure they didn't, but that's a different sort of challenge than chasing down Guan Yu."

"It is. In both cases, your target is apt to hole up before they fight back. The difference is that bandits are in their own territory. Guan Yu, on the other hand, is not. I trust we both know which challenge is greater."

Cao Ren had to appreciate how neatly Lü Meng had turned that point around on him, annoyed as he was at his failure to see it in the first place. Perhaps he overvalued the merits of time on the field and the toil of warfare. Perhaps the twin ravages thereof were clouding his thoughts with undue pessimism. Or perhaps he still grieved for his own twin, the diligent scholar who had so naturally taken the commander's saddle before leading a single cavalier, and would never live to surpass Cao Ren's mentorship.

"And you trust me," Lü Meng continued.

Cao Ren nodded, though the tale of the executed lieutenant and attempted concealment of illness nagged at the back of his mind. As did the introduction of Zhu Ran, interrupted and revised. A trivial slip of the tongue - or another omission of unpleasant truth.

"Then trust Zhu Ran. He's a meticulous thinker and a quick study." A nostalgic smile. "Much quicker than I was, anyhow."

"I'm sure I will once I meet him."

When Zhu Ran greeted them at the town gates, his first impression gave the assurance that Lü Meng had requested. His bearing was elegant, his armor bright, his fine features set with subtle strength. Cao Ren caught an echo of Zhou Yu as glimpsed in their clashes at Jiangling, a man of cool determination and nearly prescient strategy. Perhaps this general, whose smooth face might also belie his age and wisdom, was close to the same sort of brilliance.

"Lü Ziming! You look-" Zhu Ran quelled the raw shock in his expression. "Well-traveled."

"I'm tired. Don't feel the need to be euphemistic."

"Then you must wish for a rest. I'll have lodgings arranged for you straight away."

"I wish for news of Guan Yu."

"We can speak of him in the morning."

"Why can't we speak of him now?"

Zhu Ran's chest rose and fell with a deep breath as if containing a sigh. "You've repeatedly reminded me to take a step back from the impulse toward haste. Your words are wise. You would be doubly wise to heed them, especially in your condition."

"What would that be?" Lü Meng challenged.

"With all due respect, you described it yourself. You're tired. You must regain your full capacity before the next steps of this pursuit."

"I need to regain my confidence. To know the whereabouts of my quarry after running so far along his tracks. If you're that worried about my condition, this uncertainty does it no favors."

"You need rest."

"I need information."

"Which I will proudly share with you - and the esteemed General Cao - tomorrow."

"Give me one good reason for that beyond this notion that I'm unable to handle it."

Zhu Ran paused with some effort to stay calm in the face of this frustration. "If I tell you now, you'll want to ride out immediately. At our hour of arrival, there would be nothing to see until morning."

"I suppose." Lü Meng's brow knitted with obstinance. "But if you insist on keeping me in the dark, don't expect me to sleep."

* * *

Zhu Ran took three precise pinches of pickles, arranging them atop his porridge like embroidery. "So, did he sleep?"

"Straight away and straight through to the first gong." Feeling comparatively indelicate, Cao Ren stirred his bowl to absorb the heap of condiments he had plopped in the center. "Though I can't say he went happily."

"Should I ask about the details?"

Lü Meng had grumbled at length about the proverbial scroll dangled before him and feeling smacked on the hand when he reached to break its seal. He had trailed off to slumber in the midst of a complaint about others knowing his needs more than he did, unwittingly proving the point he meant to dispute. At the time, Cao Ren had found this irony amusing. He decided it would be more of an embarrassment if retold without permission.

"The details are arbitrary - a mere matter of frustration in the face of fatigue." More so illness, which Cao Ren had also decided was not his place to reveal. "I will say that he appreciates your concern, ornery as his gratitude might seem."

"I'm right here, you know." Having arrived during the prior exchange, Lü Meng situated himself on a cushion. "And I'd appreciate it even more if we got onto a different subject."

"We will do so in due time." Zhu Ran had prepared a third helping of breakfast, which he set before Lü Meng as if presenting a gift. "Just as soon as you finish your meal."

"I've been getting that from him every day on the road, and now I have to hear it from you." Lü Meng amusedly shook his head. "Can't I catch a break around here?"

Zhu Ran had been regarding Cao Ren with professional reserve, perhaps even a touch of suspicion at seeing a relative of Cao Cao so close to his weary mentor. His gaze warmed as Lü Meng put on a look of concentration and drank down his porridge in one go, chasing the dregs with his chopsticks. When Lü Meng threw his empty bowl on the table with a triumphant clatter, Zhu Ran's brow twitched at the doubtful etiquette of this disruption.

"That's a new record." Cao Ren raised his tea cup as a toast. "Well done, General Zhu."

Zhu Ran returned the gesture with a smile. "To be fair, I did offer an unbeatable incentive."

"Indeed you did." Lü Meng sat up eagerly, refreshed by this incoming discussion more so than his porridge or tea. "Now let's get to it."

Zhu Ran drew himself up as if preparing to give a formal speech. With a flourish, he revealed a cloth scroll from inside his sleeve. Zhu Ran cleared the table and laid out his map, a simple diagram in bold lines - a settlement on a river bend, roads stretching through the surrounding plain and into the distant hills.

"This is Mai Castle, a small fortress half a day's march to the south." Zhu Ran placed the empty teapot inside the respective square on the map. "The identity of its occupant should go without saying."

"Big and red and full of hot air?" Lü Meng snorted. "That sounds about right."

Ignoring this interruption, Zhu Ran slid two chopsticks into the western hills. "Generals Pan Zhang and Ma Zhong advanced with me into this region." Then down to block the branches of a forked road. "They have since moved to cut off Guan Yu's routes of retreat."

"You talked Pan Wengui into running support?" Lü Meng laughed with surprise. "I'd expect him to be right here beside us with that teapot smashed on the ground and a knife through the map in its place."

"He has knives in both hands for each of Guan Yu's eyes. That satisfies him well enough to lurk in wait."

Lü Meng flinched. Cao Ren suspected that this Pan Zhang bathed in the blood that Gan Ning had been content to drink, and he found himself newly grateful for Zhu Ran's considered manner.

"So here we are in the north, our respective forces equally matched." Zhu Ran lined up the three empty porridge bowls. One by one, each advanced south across the river to stand before a castle gate. "And so we close the net."

"If Guan Yu is wise," Cao Ren said, "he'll surrender."

Zhu Ran nodded. "If he flees, he'll be captured."

"And if he's fool enough to fight?" Lü Meng's words were clipped through gritted teeth. "I will end him."

Zhu Ran opened his mouth but did not speak. He blinked slowly, meditatively, seemingly in dispute of this ultimatum. His eyes remained distant with fear as Lü Meng's burned toward their own horizon, as if both were envisioning the direst possible aftermath. Cao Ren forced away the images haunting him in kind, wondering how many were shared between master and disciple - or the fragment of title that he had just managed to complete.

Successor.

* * *

Muster commenced after breakfast, and all marched out shortly thereafter. Lü Meng had asked to lead. Cao Ren and Zhu Ran acquiesced, figuring that such boldness would invigorate their men. The roads were flat, the river crossing shallow, their pace accordingly spurred to aggression.

By the time of early evening Zhu Ran had estimated for arrival, their armies had already encamped. Cao Ren and Zhu Ran thought to enjoy a respite of weiqi games and leisurely sipped tea. Buoyed by a fresh breath of energy, Lü Meng insisted that the three of them ride out for a closer look at their target.

Mai Castle was a speck on the horizon, a dim and distant bulwark spiked with watchtowers. As they approached to a cautious viewing distance, dots of green became visible - flags and banners and pennants bedecking the ramparts.

Zhu Ran's brow arched slightly. "Well, this is worrisome."

Lü Meng spoke as if testing Zhu Ran's knowledge more so than requesting an answer. "What is?"

"At the very least, Guan Yu looks to have recruited more men from within this settlement. At worst, he's turned it to his favor entirely."

"Guan Yu has been running for the past week," Cao Ren countered. "He has no plan to speak of, much less the morale to keep his men's loyalty. How do you suppose he gathered any real support?"

"I've never met Guan Yu, but I can see him clearly enough. A tall and magnificent man, red of face and long of beard. An embodiment of power - an icon of honor."

Lü Meng's mouth began to twist into a scowl. He straightened it out as Zhu Ran continued.

"Those who heard the same tell would have a similar impression. And for those who hadn't, Guan Yu's own impression would more than suffice to inspire them."

"Toward what cause?" Cao Ren asked. "A futile last stand?"

"Pardon my impertinence, General Cao, but you yourself have stood strong in such circumstances. Surely you can imagine the possibilities."

"The circumstances are not so easily compared. It is true that Jiangling was doomed to fall. Even so, we had a goal - to halt Zhou Yu's momentum by blocking his advance to the north. Each day of occupation was a victory toward that end."

Zhu Ran stayed silent as if absorbing every word.

"And each day I gave the best to my men. I fought beside them. I protected them. I demanded no burden that I was unwilling to bear myself. Over the weeks and months, we forged our mutual loyalty. What could Guan Yu have established - within days, nonetheless - for the sake of saving his own head?"

"Perhaps he bullied the people into serving him," Lü Meng spat. "I'd expect about as much after that raid on our grain stores."

"Perhaps he did." Zhu Ran's voice became patient and analytical. "But perhaps we should rather think about our next course of action."

"Surround Mai Castle. Show no fear. Guan Yu wants us to hesitate, which is exactly why we can't."

Zhu Ran seemed agitated. "And thus provoke him into combat?"

"If that's what he wants, I'm more than happy to bring it."

"If he has as many troops as he seems to, we'll be leading our own to their deaths."

"He doesn't," Lü Meng insisted. "He's lying."

"Then he should be especially receptive to persuasion toward surrender."

"Or he'll just sneak away in the night once he knows what he's up against."

"That's a chance I am willing to risk."

"As am I. As Zhu Ran has shown, the roads are cut off. Guan Yu will be caught, with or without our direct involvement." Cao Ren met Lü Meng's eyes. "And both of us have long since refused to waste the lives of good men."

Lü Meng dropped his head for a good while without speaking. At length, he sighed.

"You two. You've just met, and you're already ganging up on me." Lü Meng turned to Zhu Ran. "If you insist, then you write the letter. You do have a way with words."

Zhu Ran bowed. "It will be my greatest pleasure."

* * *

Zhu Ran drew his bow with the smooth precision of the first stroke of calligraphy on a pristine scroll. He aimed and released with no visible exertion, hitting the mounded earth target a hand above its center. Cao Ren nodded his appreciation, then turned as if to leave.

"Forfeiting on the first round?" Zhu Ran teased. "Where's that resolve I've heard so much about?"

Cao Ren ignored him as he measured his steps. Thirty paces later, he took sight and braced himself for the firm weight of full draw. His shot flew in a near flat trajectory to strike dead on home. When he walked back to the line, Zhu Ran was smiling.

"I assume that was satisfactory."

"Well, you clearly claimed the center."

"As a show of resolve, I mean." Cao Ren hefted his bow, composed of thick laminate and nearly matching his height. "Heavy equipment is hard to handle."

"I thought this was a contest of archery, not of boasting."

Cao Ren snorted amicably. "If I were in a mood to boast, I'd repeat that on horseback."

Lü Meng approached the line with a look of preemptive defeat. "Nothing left for me, is there?"

"There's plenty of space for a good shot." Zhu Ran nodded with optimism. "Or perhaps you'll even hit one of ours."

Lü Meng's draw was hesitant, his arrowhead wobbly. His shot went wide, just grazing the edge of the target to glance off into the scrubby grass.

"That was close," Zhu Ran offered.

"That was terrible. Can I call it practice?"

Cao Ren and Zhu Ran looked at each other and agreed. This competition was meant to fill an afternoon at camp, to ease the passage of time as they awaited Guan Yu's response. Instead it seemed to stress Lü Meng anew. Cao Ren could not tell whether his frustration was compounding itself or his illness was worsening. He suspected it was some of both and that the best solution was to placate Lü Meng into a seed of a better mood.

Lü Meng retrieved his arrow and had another go. His form was marginally improved, his result no better than the last.

"I'd blame the wind, but it's calm. I'm just hopeless, I suppose." Lü Meng shook his head. "As I've said, uncertainty does me no favors."

Their messenger had presented Zhu Ran's request for surrender to a guard captain of Guan Yu. Lü Meng remained skeptical throughout that first evening, insisting that the messenger would be coming back to a deserted castle the next morning. He relaxed a notch when informed that the banners were still on display, the guard captain at his original post. As days passed without word, this breath of optimism gave way to impatience. Lü Meng fell into traps on the weiqi board, into his pallet one night with some grumbled plans to round up the troops at daybreak for a surprise attack. Cao Ren recognized this as catharsis with no true intent. Even so, he felt relieved when the horn of first watch was softly echoed by the snoring beside him.

"Try again," Zhu Ran suggested. "Three is good luck, after all."

"So is two, and we all saw how that went."

"As you said, that was practice."

"Practice for failure."

"Take one more shot. You'll see."

"Or I'll just embarrass myself yet again. Oh, forget it." Lü Meng set down his bow. "You two have fun without me."

Lü Meng wandered off back to camp. Cao Ren had a brief urge to follow him, to suggest another sort of fun for the two of them alone, but Lü Meng was likely not in such a mood. Feeling more than a touch of sympathetic frustration, Cao Ren doubted that he was himself.

Zhu Ran had watched this retreat with a pensive expression as if measuring the lethargy of Lü Meng's gait, the slight hang of his head. "He's not well, is he?"

"He's been better."

"He told me not to be euphemistic. Given the closeness of your alliance, I would think that directive applies to you as well."

In response to that pointed remark, Cao Ren had no choice but to balance discretion and honesty. "No. He's not. This campaign is consuming him."

"Is that why he's so eager to end it?"

"He may sleep from sheer exhaustion, but he won't truly rest until it's over."

"Should we do as he proposed? Rally the troops and attack Mai Castle?"

"That would resolve the standoff, but at what price? Even in victory, we would lose men. That hardly fits Lü Ziming's penchant for strategy over useless bloodshed." Cao Ren thought for a moment before following up. "Or the legacy that he aims to leave."

Zhu Ran took a moment of his own, and Cao Ren wondered if he were about to press him on that last remark. Instead he smiled.

"You do know him well, and you respect him even more."

"Did you expect that I wouldn't?"

"Of course not. It's more that I didn't anticipate such deference from a highly ranked commander."

"Or distaste for violence from a man of Wei?"

Zhu Ran's visible surprise confirmed that Cao Ren had correctly guessed his implication.

Cao Ren laughed. "I take that as a compliment, especially since I also take pride in defying such assumptions."

"You fight on the front lines. You hold out in the direst circumstances for months on end. For one so averse to warfare, you are quite skilled at waging it."

"Warfare is a reality of our time, and those able must step up to end it."

"Why not serve as an official? A politician, a diplomat?"

"My ideals may be of peace, but my abilities lie on the battlefield. When I lead, men follow. When I teach the martial arts, they strive to perfect their form. When I set a strict example, they snap into line. When I challenge them, they surpass themselves for the betterment of us all." A heavy breath. "And when they fall, I bear the scars of their sacrifice."

"Those scars must run deeper than I can imagine."

Cao Ren stayed silent in agreement.

"Yet here you stand, undaunted. Unbroken."

Zhu Ran himself stood in awe, having shifted closer to Cao Ren as if to feel his presence. His expression was of sudden and vulnerable innocence, as if he had just received the cap of adulthood and only now begun to grasp its responsibilities. Cao Ren feared he gave the impression that he could will his stress away, heal it with time as a winter field regrew in the subsequent spring - and that Lü Meng's own stress, which had no luxury of time toward its relief, would seem as a weakness in comparison.

"Believe me, there are cracks in this armor. Times when I come close to breaking."

"How do you keep yourself together?" Zhu Ran asked.

"I focus on the good I have done within the military structure. The respect I share with my men. The discipline I inspired in them. The unity that will serve the people so well when a new land is established." Cao Ren gazed off toward the horizon. "Even if some of us are no longer here to enjoy it."

Zhu Ran did not respond, as if struggling to relieve the weight of this conversation. Feeling a touch of guilt at the dark turn he had taken, Cao Ren decided to lighten the mood himself.

"Since we are here, we should take Lü Ziming's other suggestion." Cao Ren hoisted his bow back up. "Let's have some fun as he told us to."

Zhu Ran hesitated.

"Should I use a lighter bow? Make it a fairer contest?"

"Oh, no, it's not that. It's your technique. It's formidable - dare I say, enviable." Zhu Ran swallowed. "Could I trouble you for some advice on mine?"

Cao Ren fixed a memory of Zhu Ran's expectant face, his openly curious expression. Perhaps this man would some day challenge him with eyes of flint and a cold aim at his breast. For now, he was a friendly and eager apprentice - a spark of the hope that Cao Ren had long since fought to tend, the fragile flame flickering ever more within the winds of this ongoing chaos.

"That would be no trouble at all."


	6. Denouement

**Mai Castle, 219**

Zhu Ran poured two cups of tea at the small table in the command tent. A third remained conspicuous and empty. It was both a habitual courtesy and a stubborn wish for Lü Meng to appear, though this was now the fourth day he had sneaked off before breakfast. Or perhaps earlier, as Cao Ren was starting to doubt that he even slept.

"I drank a pot of strong tea and placed rocks under my pallet. Even with that, I was out before the change of night watch." Cao Ren rose up on his knees momentarily, attempting to stretch out the stiffness near his spine. "So much to show for these knots in my back."

"That was well beyond your duty. Lü Ziming is responsible for his own actions. You're his ally, not his keeper."

On the first morning of Lü Meng's absence, Cao Ren had received a pointed hint that he should have been exactly that. He let it pass through his memory without comment, though its judgment briefly snagged as a barb of annoyance.

"I suppose I could sit on him, but that wouldn't be good for his health." Cao Ren set about flavoring his gruel with pickled cabbage. "Not that his vigil is doing it any favors."

"Or any favors to our campaign, for that matter. What is he hoping to accomplish?"

"Waiting is making him anxious. With this, he can feel as if he's taking some action."

Lü Meng's wanderings also put distance between himself and the camp. They granted privacy to his fluctuations between flush and pallor, resignation and irritation, and the terrible fits of hacking that threatened to steal his breath. Lü Meng had made reference to Guan Yu's animal instincts of holing up in Mai Castle. As his quarry refused to show himself, Cao Ren feared he was following his own primal call of going off to die.

Zhu Ran nodded eagerly. "Then I'll find him some tasks to supervise. Counting supplies. Inspecting tents. Sharpening swords."

"Busy work?" Cao Ren snorted. "He'll see that for what it is."

"He needs a way to occupy his time."

"He needs his space."

"He needs us to go and ask him personally instead of continuing to guess on our own."

Cao Ren took a breath, though he found it difficult to be truly frustrated with Zhu Ran's earnestness. "What happens when you plunge a boiling pot into an icy stream?"

Zhu Ran made a dubious expression as if he had been asked to sum a pair of fingers. "It breaks."

"Then let's leave him be until this restlessness burns itself out. It's not as if he goes far."

On a day when their comrade's absence stretched well into afternoon, Cao Ren and Zhu Ran had gone off searching. Cao Ren ultimately found Lü Meng and received a tongue lashing for the effort. It was a shocking departure from the usual grumbles, perhaps even an indication of taking offense. Cao Ren had his own regular need to be alone, to cocoon himself in a peace as impenetrable as the walls he defended. But Lü Meng seemed to lurk in a garden of thorns, and Cao Ren worried that he had harmed them both with this prick of his hand.

"And it's not as if I don't recall what happened." Zhu Ran looked determined. "If you're that keen to avoid another lecture, I'll be more than happy to take it."

Cao Ren admired this zeal as he was saddened by its innocence. He dreaded for Zhu Ran to see a husk of a man slowly devoured by his ambitions, to reel at the percussion of words laced with guttural venom. To lay a calming hand as his cough began to rattle, to pass a cloth when it brought up blood.

"I'll go." A rueful smile. "If nothing else, I might as well see if I get it worse this time."

Zhu Ran had sought Lü Meng in the scrubby hills where they had their first look at Mai Castle. Cao Ren had tracked the river instead, thinking to find a vantage point near the cool water that would soothe a man in the grip of fever. Retracing those steps, he began to suspect that Lü Meng had moved to keep his privacy. Yet the distant flash of red and gold appeared on the same slope marked in Cao Ren's mind, as if his intrusion might not be unwelcome.

Lü Meng ignored the incoming crunch of footsteps, maintaining his strict and upright silence as Cao Ren settled alongside him. He stared off at Mai Castle, his gaze hard beneath weary lids. When he spoke at last, his words were a listless sigh.

"I told you to leave me alone."

Cao Ren did not reply. On his prior visit, the air around Lü Meng had bristled with unseen hackles. The flat resignation of today was at least a marginal improvement.

"What do you get out of seeing me like this?"

Wind rustled the dry grass. A bird took flight from the meadow, silhouetted against clouds of slate.

"A pitiful wreck destroyed by his own grudge? A coward picking battles he'll be in no condition to fight?"

These words brought to mind Sima Yi's judgment of the betrayal. In their harsh and repentant echo, Cao Ren pondered the nuances of seizing territory and provoking retaliation. Of staining one's hands with a treachery whose full consequence would fall upon his successors. Of staking a kingdom's future upon the cost of one's repute - and the chance that such future might fail to redeem this sacrifice.

"I see a man who made a difficult choice in the service of his kingdom, who treads lightly on the land he conquers and sheds tears over the violence of war. Because of that, I could never see him as a villain."

Lü Meng's shoulders began to relax out of their standoffish brace.

"More so, I see a friend in pain that I wish I could bear instead. Since I can't, my only recourse is to share it."

"I don't deserve your friendship or your compassion."

"You have them both regardless."

"No matter how I snap at you? How I gripe out of boneheaded pride whenever you raise a hand to help me?"

"I admit that's not always easy to hear. Yet I consider it to be the voice of your desperation, not that of your heart."

"You do?" Lü Meng laughed sardonically. "Thanks to this campaign, I'm pretty sure I forgot how to tell the difference."

"Do you think you're driven by spite? By avarice? Do you think that's who you really are?"

"I don't think." A disgusted turn of the head. "I know."

Cao Ren thought of Lü Meng's insistence on forcing himself on without rest, on advancing while in no shape to ride. The glint in his eyes at each mention of Guan Yu, the rancor in his voice when discussing his quarry. The kindly ear turned to the defected guard captain rather than a gloating mouth and brandished blade. The deference to Zhu Ran's patient caution as opposed to a bludgeoning with superior rank.

"Well, I know otherwise."

Lü Meng wrinkled a skeptical brow.

"If you were greedy, you would have ordered Guan Yu's deserters to join us. If you were vengeful, you would have slaughtered them for refusing. If you truly coveted Guan Yu's head, you would have attacked Mai Castle yourself."

"As if you or Zhu Yifeng would have let me."

"The three of us agreed to wait. That was all. You retained control of your own men. If you were that dead set on assault, we wouldn't have been able to stop you."

"I did think about that more than once. I even had a dream where I went ahead with it, and I only realized what a damned fool I was when the castle gates began to open. I've never been so grateful to wake up with my own head, apart from the time you spared it. I was a damned fool then, too." Lü Meng stared off into the distance. "I'm not sure I ever grew out of that."

"It would have been a shame if you had done so entirely."

Lü Meng waited for Cao Ren to continue.

"You were reckless indeed, bold and impetuous. It takes quite the nerve to pick a duel with a commander of cavalry."

"And quite a failure of sense, judging from the earful I got from Zhou Yu after the fact."

"Perhaps, but that's beside my point. You burned with a flame that ran deeper than mere brashness. It inspired the scheme to capture my horses as much as that chase after my own head."

A flush rose into Lü Meng's cheeks, and not out of feverish heat.

"It also inspired your maturity. You fought hard to develop your intellect with the same energy you brought to the field. You found your own voice of strategy and diplomacy. Considered, yet daring. Logical, yet unconventional."

"And more than a little awkward compared to my betters."

"Your equals," Cao Ren insisted. "There's no need to put yourself down like this."

"Lu Su and Zhou Yu were calm and genteel." Lü Meng scoffed. "My idea of mentorship was a smack to Gan Ning's head."

"From my dealings with him, I doubt anything less would have sunk in."

"I doubt so, too." A laugh. "I guess my flaws have some use after all."

"They do, and in any case, they're a part of you." Cao Ren thought back to Sima Yi's assurance that he was no weaker for surrendering to his baser instincts, for taking this alliance into the bedchamber. "You're human, regardless of whatever ideal you insist on holding yourself up to."

"I'm a roughneck in scholar's robes. Haven't you realized that by now?"

"Haven't you realized that I admire you for it?"

Lü Meng turned, examining Cao Ren with the same squinted curiosity of their first encounter at Jiangling, as if to look upon himself in the mirror of his eyes.

"You say you lack refinement. I find you to be open and relatable. You punish yourself over past mistakes. I take those as proof of your growth. You deride your temper as if you are to blame for its existence. I accept it as a part of the passion that defines you." Cao Ren paused, deciding whether to voice his next thought. "And I hope you will come to accept yourself in kind."

Lü Meng kept his dubious expression, and Cao Ren wondered if he were going to receive some offense at this implication about his personal esteem. At length, Lü Meng lowered his head with a sigh.

"You really are something, aren't you? So gracious. So forgiving. So keen to see the best in me even when I'm at my worst. I can't decide whether you're too quick to think so highly or too stubborn to let it go." A hint of a smile. "I admire you for that as well."

"I aim to see the best in everyone, though some do make it easier than others."

"Did I make it terribly difficult?"

"Of course not. You made it natural."

Lü Meng shifted near, and his hand slid over to follow. Their fingers twined and held close as the banners of Mai Castle swayed in a languid breeze, the river flowed gently around its bend, and sunlight peeked through the clouds to gleam upon those waters.

* * *

They left at midday when Lü Meng's stomach began to growl for lack of food and Cao Ren apologized that he had neglected to bring any. Lü Meng set out with confidence but soon fell back into a clumsy gait. He finally allowed Cao Ren to carry him with the insistence that he regain his feet before they came within sight of the camp. At that point, the two of them walked slowly together, feigning a patient and deliberate stride.

The envoy to Mai Castle stood at attention, bearing a letter. Zhu Ran accompanied him with an eagerness peeking through his formal guise of neutrality. Cao Ren suspected that the two of them had waited there, side by side, rooted to this spot in anticipation of Lü Meng's arrival.

Lü Meng received the scroll and made a grand show of breaking its seal. He scanned the brief note slowly, savoring each word as his gaze narrowed with feral vindication.

"Well, it's about damned time."

* * *

"Come on. Join the party." Lü Meng nudged the bowl of wine right up to the table's edge. "At the very least, you'd better drink that up before I drink it for you."

Zhu Ran continued to sit at a prim distance as if the liquor were laced with poison. "I'm not sure I ought to."

"Why not? You earned it." Lü Meng leaned over and clapped Zhu Ran on the shoulder, failing to soften his pensive expression. "We have a big night to celebrate, all thanks to those letters of yours."

"We have a much bigger day tomorrow. I don't mean to pass judgment on either of you, but I need to face it with a clear head."

Guan Yu had agreed to surrender at noon. Cao Ren had read his note to their envoy as the click of a final and inevitable weiqi stone. Zhu Ran had busied himself with final inspections of soldiers and supplies and the camp itself, eyes wide in disbelief at the ease of this capitulation. Lü Meng had started after him to sit down and loosen up, even as he doubted under his breath that it truly would be that easy.

"You need to relax." Cao Ren took a hearty swig of his own bowl. "Our troops are all in order. Our contingencies are covered. And our heads will be just fine."

Lü Meng nodded. "Trust me. He's an expert." A boisterous elbow to Cao Ren's arm, jostling his drink. "Maybe he should be the one teaching you how to handle the strong stuff."

"Are you putting me in charge here?"

"Only if you want to be."

Cao Ren plucked Lü Meng's empty wine bowl away before he had a chance to refill it. "In that case, I suggest you switch to tea."

"That didn't look like a suggestion. More like an order."

Zhu Ran smiled. "To be fair, you did just put General Cao in charge."

Cao Ren was keeping himself within a comfortable cloud of inebriation, softening the melancholy of this final night without blurring its eventual memory. Lü Meng had been drinking at twice his rate, overdoing it in some regard that Cao Ren refused to pierce that cloud to analyze. Still he saw a concerning edge on Lü Meng's brash gestures, his sharp upturn of chin as he emptied each bowl, his baring of teeth within joyful chatter. The alcohol seemed to be deepening that darkness more so than lightening Lü Meng's mood.

"Can I take that back?" Lü Meng lunged for his wine vessel, falling over as Cao Ren whisked it out of his sudden reach. "I guess not."

Cao Ren allowed himself to laugh, as Lü Meng showed no embarrassment from this temporary loss of grace. "Now will you take my suggestion?"

"I might as well. You do seem to know what's best for me, especially when I don't." Lü Meng stretched out on his back and repositioned his cushion into a pillow. "Might as well take a rest, too, considering that I'm already down here."

Cao Ren and Zhu Ran looked at each other, and Zhu Ran fetched a weiqi board without needing to ask. They set about a slow and deliberate game, shoring up their own formations at length before taking any shot at the other's, as if this shared concentration would somehow also set Lü Meng back in order. It did seem to distract Zhu Ran's mind from the morrow, as he focused within a silence only broken by the odd appreciation for a clever sequence of moves or an unanticipated counter.

Zhu Ran was the first to flick his gaze toward the figure on the floor, who had since turned onto his side. "Is he going to be all right?"

Cao Ren had his doubts, but decided against voicing them. "He'll sleep it off."

A lethargic grumble from below. "I can hear you, you know. I'm drunk, not deaf."

"And not exactly sleeping." Zhu Ran cast his gaze around the command tent. "Should we find him something more comfortable to lay on?"

"You should find something better to do than fuss over me. You're smart. You'll figure it out."

"Get into your proper bed, and we'll have a deal."

"Already? But we're just getting started."

"From what I see, you're well past done," Cao Ren said. "Though you're quite welcome to get up and prove me wrong."

Lü Meng neither replied nor moved, and Cao Ren began to think of the best way to lift him out of his sidelong sprawl. His eyes twitched, then distantly opened. He shifted, rolled onto his stomach, got to his knees. He brushed the hanging curtains of hair from his face, revealing wrinkles on the side where he had lain.

"All right. Let's see what excitement I missed." Lü Meng laughed as he inspected the weiqi board, which was easing toward an amicable draw. "What is this? A game or a mosaic?"

"General Cao being charitable toward me, I suspect."

"Hardly." Cao Ren smiled. "You've kept me well on my guard."

Zhu Ran nodded. "And likewise."

"That's the trouble with caution. It leads to deadlock. Seize your opening -" Lü Meng picked up a white stone and slammed it down with a decisive click, flipping a swath of adjacent pieces. "And go for the throat."

Zhu Ran frowned slightly. "You're aware that you moved for General Cao, correct?"

Lü Meng reviewed the bowls of stones and their proximity to the players. He sighed. "Not the lesson I meant to give, but I suppose it has its merits."

"I'm not sure you're in any position to teach," Cao Ren said.

"You're right. You win. This old man needs to pack it in for the night." Lü Meng began to plod his way outside. "You two have fun without me."

The weiqi game had been a friendly way to fill time, a shared meditation with the barest nods at competition. Its fresh imbalance of territory nagged at Cao Ren, seeming to demand resolution. He settled back down at his bowl of black pieces.

"Shall we finish this?"

Zhu Ran had been staring after Lü Meng's weary shambling. He took a sudden gulp of wine with no concern for manners or moderation.

"We shall."

* * *

Cao Ren won the weiqi game as Zhu Ran, gregarious with wine, cheerfully blamed the drink for his own missteps. He agreed to a rematch, considering turnabout to be fair play when the late hour began to addle him in kind. When he returned to the tent, Cao Ren expected Lü Meng to be long since deep in slumber. Instead he lay awake, eyes wide and pensive in the flickers of firelight through the open flap.

"Sleep through the party, be up the rest of the night." Lü Meng seemed wryly amused. "Guess I can't bring it like I used to."

"Don't concern yourself. I can't speak for Zhu Ran, but I wasn't expecting any sort of a spectacle."

"A night like this still deserves more than a weiqi game."

"Two games," Cao Ren corrected.

"The excitement never stops, does it?" A laugh. "I was constantly after Zhu Ran to study - not that he needed much encouragement to do so. Sounds like I should have taught him how to let loose instead."

"To my understanding, he was enjoying himself quite well."

"You've been to our banquets. You know what I'm talking about."

"The show of sparring?" Cao Ren asked.

"You saw the tame version - the dance. On several occasions, that was more than just a show."

"I doubt I need to guess who was involved."

"You don't. You already know." Lü Meng chuckled. "But you might not know that I'm the one who had to break it up."

Trying to picture the scene, Cao Ren only envisioned a bloodbath. "How did you manage that without being sliced up into ribbons?"

"Equal parts yelling, threatening, and the standard encouragement for all of us to get along and work as a team. I still can't tell which of these did the trick."

"Sounds like all of the above."

"Sounds like it. Gan Ning was a wild man. I could never quite tell whether and how much I got through to him. Or, for that matter, how."

"But you did, and sometimes that's all you can ask for. There's no sense in fretting over what you may or may not have done differently."

"Sometimes it's hard not to, you know?"

Cao Ren nodded, recalling thoughts that had their way of floating back up to the surface long after he had tried to bury them. Xu province, massacred by Cao Cao in a scorching wrath that could have possibly been talked down to mere anger. Jiangling, perhaps to be saved with a bold strike against Zhou Yu - or lost in a hasty and inglorious defeat. His path of the blade, as opposed to the book, and its grief and ruin that his shield might never outweigh.

"Funny, isn't it? Zhu Ran ended up being the exact opposite. Then again, maybe I was just lucky. Or wise enough to get out of the way so he could lead himself."

"Come on now. He must have learned a great deal from you."

"Like how to move against yourself in weiqi? What a brilliant lesson that was."

"Zhu Ran is still young in his career. Even so, he closed a net around Guan Yu and convinced him to step into it. I doubt that all came from a stack of scrolls."

"Well, our libraries do have some impressive scrolls. Though I suppose that my own letters of persuasion had a few bits worth building on."

"I'm sure there's more than just that."

"There is. A lot more for Zhu Ran to build, rather - and to step up to. If you'll forgive my pun, some important shoes to f-"

Lü Meng sucked in a labored breath and then doubled up into a coughing fit. Cao Ren calmed him as he shivered within fever's grasp, his stomach leaden with the reminder that he need not ask who owned that proverbial footwear.

"Does he know about this?" Cao Ren asked.

"I'm sure he's figured it out by now."

"Is he fully aware of its consequences?"

"He's at the very least prepared for them, whenever they may come."

Lü Meng's respiration began to settle. His brow was still beaded with sweat, and Cao Ren fetched a rag to wipe it dry.

"Does he know about us?"

The ensuing pause served as its own answer before Lü Meng spoke again.

"I'm not bothered by that, as long as you aren't."

"Why would I ever be?"

Lü Meng shifted, making room on his pallet for Cao Ren to nestle against him - a burning ember in the darkness, a pyretic warmth in this cold and final night.

* * *

When Lü Meng failed to drift off before the change of watch, Cao Ren went back to his own bed to give him room to rest. Still he audibly tossed and turned throughout the night. Perhaps Cao Ren had been imagining the worst through his nervous blur between sleeping and waking. Perhaps he had coincidentally shared those brief moments of restlessness - and given that he managed a few broken hours of slumber, perhaps Lü Meng had done the same.

Instead Lü Meng lay on his pallet with those wide and troubled eyes of the prior evening. He shifted upon seeing Cao Ren's movement, visibly working up his nerve only to curl up halfway and collapse back into bed. Cao Ren did not know whether tension or illness had kept Lü Meng awake, whether the latter was confounding him more so than insomnia. Regardless, Lü Meng was in no shape to lead men, much less take the helm of a surrender.

"Cao Zixiao." Lü Meng was once again trying and failing to get up. "Will you stop staring and give me a hand?"

"What do you need?"

"What does it look like I'm trying to do?"

"Refuse the rest that your body so desperately needs? Drag yourself along on a matter that Zhu Ran and I can easily handle ourselves?"

"I'm fine. I'll be fine." Lü Meng coughed. "I'm just a little slow right now, that's all."

"If you can't sit up in bed, I don't see how you can ride a horse."

"That's my problem. Why don't you leave it to me to deal with?"

Cao Ren thought to list the pragmatic issues of hauling Lü Meng along in this condition, to reiterate his confidence in Zhu Ran's leadership. Instead he gave voice to the reflexive reaction he had originally swallowed.

"Because I care too much?"

"If that were true, you'd let me have this." Almost as if harnessing the frustration in his words, Lü Meng shoved himself upright with a surprising burst of energy. "You wouldn't be trying to take it away."

Cao Ren bristled. "That's not my intent."

"No, but it is the result."

"You conquered Jing and left Guan Yu with nowhere to go. You were half of the pincer that closed in on him. You started this campaign, and you were key to its success. No matter what happens today, that can never be taken from you."

"You're right. It can't be. But you damn well know I didn't come all this way just to languish in my tent."

"Of course not. You did so to continue this pointless self-torment. Why should I indulge you in that?"

Lü Meng stayed silent as if mulling over a retort. At length, he gathered himself, drawing up his posture with all the stringency he could muster.

"When you knocked me from my horse at Jiangling, you could have demanded my submission at the end of your blade. Slit my throat and hung my head from the city walls. Riddled me with arrows and left my corpse to rot. But you didn't. You granted me my dignity. All I ask now is for the same once again." Lü Meng turned, staring Cao Ren dead in the eye. "If you really do care too much, that is."

Lü Meng had no concern for his own health. But he reasonably also had no desire to prolong an end that might be closer than Cao Ren admitted, nor to be remembered as a husk withering away on his pallet. Once again, Lü Meng would be a firebrand on the field - no matter when his flame was due to burn itself out.

Cao Ren fetched a bowl of water for Lü Meng to wash his face, and he ordered a bearer to polish his armor. He combed Lü Meng's hair with careful patience, unwinding the tangles without pulling or raking his scalp. He oiled it lightly, brightening its streaks from iron into silver. He smoothed it back behind Lü Meng's ears, tied it into a ponytail, fluffed out the fullness of its waves.

Lü Meng had remained aloof as Cao Ren approached him with the comb, but soon relaxed into this intimacy with an appreciative murmur. If only he had joined Wei all those years ago, accepted the offer of surrender. Perhaps he would have blossomed within Cao Cao's structure and discipline, finding means to cope with its ruthlessness. Or perhaps he would have sunk into disillusion, sharpening his harsher aspects into knife edges to scrape against Cao Ren's own like the cold aggression of Zhang Liao, the insistence of Xu Huang on driving his men through forced austerity. Perhaps this present was the best for both of them, and there was no sense in continuing to lament the past.

Color had begun to touch Lü Meng's complexion as Cao Ren helped to tidy him. He dressed without aid, ate his breakfast unbidden. He donned his armor, which had been scrubbed to the strictest of standards. As Lü Meng exited the tent with sturdy steps and shoulders squared, Cao Ren fixed a memory of the burnished brass of his pauldron, his dark spill of hair over carved leather breastplate, his sashes marked with tatters serving as scars of his valor. His pride, his determination - his ownership of fate.

"Gentlemen!" Zhu Ran had been waiting nearby. "I see that we all slept well last night."

Lü Meng gave a nod. Cao Ren maintained his discretion.

"And soon we will ride to our victory. Shall we review our plans?"

"What's to review?" Lü Meng grumbled. "Surround the castle. Wait for Guan Yu to do what he agreed to do. I don't see how it could be any simpler."

Zhu Ran flinched, and Cao Ren awaited one of his usual considered replies. Instead Zhu Ran signaled a lieutenant to make preparations to ride out, almost as if muted by the terseness of Lü Meng's voice - an urgency beyond mere impatience, almost like the dregs of a water clock quickening toward emptiness.

Clouds lowered over the plain, dark with the threat of a storm. The three commanders rode off in silence. Their camaraderie and celebration had ended the night before, capping all their snips and scraps of campaign talk that had run its course and left nothing more to say. Today was an occasion of somber reverence, a slow march to the dirge of war drums.

Mai Castle loomed, bare of the banners that had so defiantly adorned it in the prior week. No flags of surrender flew, and Cao Ren had a fleeting worry that their absence might mean abandonment. Closer in, he saw specks upon the ramparts - a token man in each watchtower as proof of Guan Yu's occupation.

Cao Ren covered the north gate, settling his force as Zhu Ran circled around to the south. Lü Meng faced the main entrance onto the road leading out west. He stood ahead of his army, distant and proud, ponytail and sashes fluttering in a breeze that had kicked up to rustle the dry grass of late autumn.

The watchmen shifted, and the west gate of Mai Castle rose with the patience of a heavy blade. Guan Yu rode out alone, formidable as he had ever been on the battlefields of Fan. His bearing was strict, his halberd held with ease, his beard flowing in full glory. His great auburn horse, perhaps a descendant of the legendary Red Hare, glowed like sunset against the gray of the field.

Guan Yu and Lü Meng approached each other with steady determination, their paces matched nearly to the footfall and the slow thud of Cao Ren's heart.

They charged.

Cao Ren could not tell who had begun and who had followed with a moment's reflex. Perhaps Guan Yu was determined to make a last stand, or Lü Meng equally so to kill him. Perhaps they had simultaneously rushed each other. Regardless, their desperation was clear in the relentless spurring of their horses, the terrible clash of their blades - the same insistence on victory or death.

Lü Meng began to sag on his mount as if fighting not to fall. He struck with sheer rage, without technique or finesse, as Guan Yu maintained his discipline. As Cao Ren thought to raise a hand, to rally the troops who had all stood back as a touch of integrity within this betrayal. As he resigned himself to the truth of how thoroughly this would disgrace Lü Meng's wishes, and so there was nothing more for him to do but bear witness to the bitter end.

Guan Yu brought his weapon in low and struck upward. Lü Meng flew back from his horse in a dreadful arc, seemingly slowed as if falling through water. In this brief and stunning moment, Guan Yu cut and ran toward the south, followed by a handful of cavalry from Mai Castle. Cao Ren raced toward Lü Meng, who was stumbling after his mount, as Zhu Ran's men began to move in the distance.

Lü Meng's troops stood by as he struggled to get back onto his horse. A dismissive flail of the halberd, and they dashed off on the heels of Zhu Ran. Cao Ren's elite cavalry were galloping beside him. He thought to give a proper order, curt yet well formed. Instead a choked cry tore from his throat in response to the expectant turn of his captain's head.

"Go!"

The cavalry split off as directed. Lü Meng had given up on his mount and collapsed in the field. Cao Ren leaped from his own before bringing it to a proper halt, almost stumbling as he broke into a run.

Lü Meng was hunched on hands and knees, his hair dull and disheveled around his bowed head. He tried to get to his feet and only fell back to the ground. Cao Ren kneeled alongside and pulled Lü Meng up into a seated position, nestling his head on the cloth padding of his pauldron. As his glove came away wet and shining, he saw that the red of Lü Meng's shirt was dark with this same blood.

Cao Ren's mind boiled with grief and regret and affection, with wishes of comfort and guarantees of honored remembrance, with profound last thoughts and secret truths never placed into words. As those words still refused to come, he resorted to the obvious.

"You're hurt."

"I know."

"Badly."

As if to confirm - or even to say it was worse than that - Lü Meng began to fall away. Cao Ren pulled him in closer with an ensconcing arm, carving out some shared space of comfort on the cold hard ground.

"You were right, you know." Lü Meng's slow and weakened words sounded as if spoken through a derisive smile. "I should have stayed in my tent."

"You should have done no such thing."

"True. What I really should have done was to take this damned mess onto my own head." A cough, and the corner of Lü Meng's mouth leaked red. "I failed."

"You tried. That's all you could ask for."

"And look what I have to show for it. Dying in disgrace while Zhu Ran cleans up after me."

"You dueled with honor. You lost with the same." Cao Ren's voice hitched. "And if I have any say in the matter, you damned well are not going to die."

"That shield of yours," Lü Meng breathed wearily. "It can't hold back the sunset."

"It most certainly as hell can try."

"It will all be for nothing." A long pause, a near whisper. "Just like me."

"No. Not at all. You were my rival. My ally. My friend. I am a better man for having known you." Cao Ren swallowed hard to clear the lump in his throat before the thought stuck behind it would be lost forever. "And for loving you."

Lü Meng did not speak, and Cao Ren tried not to let his heart sink a notch further at this lack of reciprocation. Then he saw a limp hand reaching out for his. As he took it with all the warmth he could manage, it latched on with surprising strength - perhaps enough to hold onto him on horseback.

"Come on. I'll haul you up. We'll get you to camp and then on your way back home."

Lü Meng shook his head.

"Then what am I to do? What do you need?"

Lü Meng took a moment as if saving up breath. Three strained words escaped him, faint and distant.

"Stay with me."

They held close and still as the clouds opened and rain began to fall on the battlefield. As the desolate plain faded away into that plush bedroom in Changsha, where they had rested together in low afternoon sunlight filtered through carved wooden shutters, in the lilting birdsong and scent of peach blossoms from the garden outside, in musk mingled with the herbal infusion of the bath. In silk and sensuality, skin to skin, their hearts raw as they were here in this cold finality.

Cao Ren kept his stoic expression as Lü Meng's breath became shallow and ragged, as his face began to twist in its last agony. His fingers squeezed one more time in fading gratitude. Only when that hand slackened, when Lü Meng shuddered and became still, did the tears begin to flow, feverish against the chill of the downpour.


End file.
